Insighful Beauty

2003-02-24T12:01:00.000-06:00

leaving

yep, so i'm leaving blogger. sorry folks. it's been screwing up so much on me lately and i'm tired of fussing with it. to read about the insights of my life, see my lj:

GO HERE!! WOOO THIS IS A LINK!!!

oh yea...new screen name too, inspired by one of the "daughters": MynxPanda

I PROMISE I WILL STAY WITH THAT SCREEN NAME! ^_^

oh yea, i still love david!

2003-02-22T19:12:00.000-06:00

fuzzy thoughts of spring

sorry for the abstract post. ignore it unless it's directed towards you.

anyway, time for a real post. i was just thinking of spring break...getting closer and closer. soon enough i'll be down in dallas with my baby *giggles at the thought of david's arms around her as well as much shared kisses* in the nice texas weather. even if it's raining...it beats the frigid bitch of kansas. especially cuz if its warm in texas, then i have david's arms to cuddle up in and keep warm. *fuzzy thoughts* and it's for a whole week! including our year anniversary. and what a happy year it has been. i love david so much! ^_^

and then! to compensate for the unfortunate twist of events that prevented him from being with me (in a delux suite to ourselves) over valentine weekend, his dad is renting him another suite for his spring break in april...just for us. another week of love with my love, david. how great is all of this? damn, my life completely rocks at the moment.

wonderful friends. great classes. another novel in construction. lots more friends around campus (sunday michelle, kris, jeremi, and i are gonna go to the library work on our french project, go buy candy..eat some of it..and quite possible play some intense frisbee [intense frisbee--tackling the one who catches teh frisbee] weather permiting. hope its a good one!). spring break around the corner...a week with sarah joan catherine kelly, and the love of my life, david. our year anniversary. followed by his spring break. a week spent living in a big big hotel room with david. we can walk around downtown, meet luna (my alleged bisexual lover...nevermind that i am straight, and the whole bi story was a joke), and spend lots and lots of time in the hotel room..doing god knows what. lol, david told me last night or the night before that he wanted to take a shower with me...soapy alice and david! uh oh! hahaha. ok enough of this. you guys must think i am nuts....but i am.

of course i'm happy! who wouldn't be happy when their year anniversary is around teh corner and a weeks of passion with the love of their lives are approaching? exactly. i cannot wait for david to come up here!

2003-02-22T18:56:00.000-06:00

whenever you can

long story. one filled with deciet and desire...oh what a tangled web they weave. oblivious that i have ways of learning...and i know it all. they will continue to write and lie and talk and lie...and i will continue to read and listen and learn. as it is i know too much for my own good...but who really cares? it's on now, that war they fear. feared only because one can emerge victorious. and that's where their weakness lies. they cant all be winners. just one. and they want to win as one...but it can't be...thus ensuring my own victory over them...and they are too damn of fools to even notice. the balance of power shifts slowly and slightly...but for now, and for a long time here after, the ball is in my court; their necks just a centimeter from my blade...and all it takes for their death and demise is for my anger to boil my blood....

...this is an interesting development...and i seek your advice in it..."my tt* partner"...in secrecy of course...

*tag team

2003-02-21T21:46:00.000-06:00

david, drama, and sharp cheddar

huzzah! davi'd mom let him online tonight, so i am talking to my baby! i love you david!

lot's of drama in the hallway...good times. times like this i like being an ass kicker with black ghetto friends. ^_^

friday night fun: updating blog and eating crackers with sharp cheddar in a can with michele...OH YES! CHEESE IN A CAN RULES SO MUCH!

2003-02-21T17:45:00.000-06:00

a title fails to come to mind

hehe. how's that for a blog title?

anyway, there's been alot of commotion in my comment book...rather interesting for a change. but i have a notion that it won't last long. eventually it'll die out and just be me and luna exchanging hugs and hi's. ^_^ but it's nice to see a change every now and again. i have no idea who larry is, but i know he's a friend of david's...so as long as he doesn't go pyschotic on my like another one of his "friends" i'm cool with him. ^_~ i make it sound like it's such a privalege for me to be 'cool' with some one. hah. if only.

only had two classes today. psychology and french. found out i made a 72 on my psych. test. serves me right for waiting til the last minute to study. oh well i was busy with other things at the time, so i don't think it will happen again. french was well..french. and that's all i can say about that unless you're in the class with maria--the girl who can only get dumber by the minute.

well i'm gonna go cook me a steak! hurray because my mom sent me lots and lots of food just for me! (since alexis is in a mood where she doesn't want to share stuff...then i can eat all my food and not share it!) then maybe after my little dinner i'll go down to taumi's room and see if matt's here. she said he'd be up here this weekend...those two will be making babies all weekend i bet..now that taumi has her own room...

2003-02-20T20:42:00.000-06:00

goofed.

blogger's been getting behind in publishing my posts, so i apologize! in other news: luna kicks ass. XD

oh yea, i love david, so ha!

2003-02-20T16:34:00.000-06:00

sly grin cast into a shadow

i believe the balance of power has ceased in changing. things were just beginning to be to dangerous to conceal.

in other news, i did groceries and had a steak dinner last night. god i love steak. also, alexis and i started sleeping to some thunderstorm mp3 i dl'ed and now it puts us to sleep so well that we dont ever want to get up. it was bad because i missed english this morning...an excuse i'm blaming on "feminine problems". aka: really bad cramps. bwahaha. not much else has happened. still want to kill the girl in my french class.

ff music is really relaxing. i have an oddity of it playin on my play list, and i like it all! ^_^

ciao.

2003-02-18T10:40:00.000-06:00

blindly invisible

i hate when things conspire behind my back and i'm oblivious to it all until the very end. not that i know if it was really a conspiracy, but it sure feels like it. the balance of power is changing, and i have a pretty good idea as to whom has/will have it. but i guess i shouldn't really spill the details here, because "they" just might read it. and tell me that i have it all wrong. only so they can work harder at being discreet.

on another note. just to add to my misery of the week...since it has a way of piling up...i joined this little rp group for david...sorta something we can both do and have fun at. of course, once i join he's grounded from it. but i've been having fun with it. that is until just recently. here i spend a week writing some of the best rp's i'm capable of writing, and when the results come in...i'm not mentioned. yea, so what if i won? there wasn't any mention of me. furthering my feeling of invisibility. no, i didn't write out over ten pages of rp just to be noticed...but still...it would have been nice to have gotten mentioned. i've sort of lost the fun in it. it was fun because i would try and win, and get recognition. i don't get that, so i feel like i am doing something wrong. who knows? maybe i am. maybe not. i can't really tell. i have another match to rp for, and i really don't feel like doing much rp today or tomorrow...not if my hard work goes unnoticed. so my thoughts are to just crank out one half-assed rp and leave it at that. so what if i lose while i've gone undefeated. so fucking what. it's not fun if i'm invisible. afterwards, i'm thinking of doing one last really good one. one i'll work on for a long long while. one i'll talk to david about first, but no matter what he says i get this feeling i'm going to post it anyway. i don't care how much fun i've been having. or even that i get to do it with david. i don't like being taken for granted...like throwing me into a match just because you know i'm going to put a post up. that's not fair at all. because then the results come, and there's no mention of me anywhere. so i'll make a short rp with out any amount of effort into it for thursday. i kinda feel guilty because it's for michele, and she deserves a better rp than what i'm going to put up, but oh well. then somewhere around friday or saturday...maybe even monday (but then i have one more half-assed rp to play)...the resignation. i just hate being taken for granted. i hate it.

and thus feeling this way all night last night, i finally just come out with it with various away messages--as is my style--only to recieve a message from two people, basically stating the same thing: "what's wrong? feel better? oh yea, what kind of match do you want for thursday's rp?" AAAHHHH! that's one of the reasons i'm so mad and you want to just throw it in my face with a: "oh yea...want rp do you want for thursday...not that we care..?" AAAHHHH!!!! after that i said forget it. i'm doing a couple more rp's then i'm out. it's just not worth it to put your time into something you enjoy and get nothing out of it. because that's part of what makes it enjoyable...the fact that you work hard, and it shows, and people acknowledge it.

then david called, and suddenly everything i was upset about just went away. granted it's still there, but for the time i was talking to him it was gone. and it was nice. at midnight we exchanged our "happy eleven mos. anniversaries"...and i was just smiles. there's a poem in maria's away message that reminded me of him, and that i added a bit to. i emailed it to him, and he was actually able to read it.

so though my night was rough, it went away for awhile, even though it's all crashing back down again. and every one is blind to it...mostly because i am invisible.

and because i am invisible...i notice the change of power occuring. even when they think they are safe from prying eyes.

2003-02-17T21:06:00.000-06:00

i'm free!

finally! zora won and is 500,000 dollars richer.

i'm free from the idiocy that was joe millionaire...

that's all. ta.

2003-02-16T17:00:00.000-06:00

two days to eleven

in two days it's gonna be mine and david's eleven month anniversary. that's a hella long time, ain't it? ^_^ *MWAH* love ya babe.

anyhoo, so i at least got done my shit load of french hw and did some studying for my test on monday. now i just have to study for my pyschology test and redo my english paper. ugh. i hate that i have to redo it. i started it somewhat..but it's just going nowhere.i want something done by early tomorrow so i can go see my idiot english teacher about it, and hopefully have it approved by her...yuk. i've never been told that i suck at writing before, and that's exactly how i feel with her. like i'm just not good enough of a writer.

the cafeteria is gonna be open for another hour and a half, and i jsut dont feel myself getting any hungrier...so i think i'll end up ordering pizza or something. grr. oh well. in other news, the bitch that is KU has once again attacked me...i dont care to much to go into it...only that once again i feel utterly hopeless...but i guess even thats ok...

..cuz in two days its our eleventh month anniversary. *^_^*

2003-02-16T00:00:00.000-06:00

blah and waiting

don't ask...i couldn't begin to explain what brought it on.

david i need you to call...

i'm waiting.

2003-02-14T12:55:00.000-06:00

quizzage

Are you damned?
Brought to you by Rum and Monkey

You're coming back! And if you are a Hindu you are going to have very specific characteristics:

"The slayer of a woman and the destroyer of embryos becomes a savage full of diseases; who commits illicit intercourse, a eunuch; who goes with his teacher’s wife, disease-skinned. The eater of flesh becomes very red; the drinker of intoxicants, one with discolored teeth...." (Garuda Purana)

Which Evil Criminal are You?
Hailing from sunny Transylvania, your first blood-related incident was when you stabbed a servant girl in the face with a pair of scissors for underperforming. Some of the red spray landed on your hands, and as you washed it off, you noticed that it left your skin fresh and young looking. From then on you were convinced that the blood of young girls was the secret to eternal youth.

Rather than killing girls outright by stabbing them or slitting their throats, you enjoy torturing them for weeks on end by pricking them with needles or prodding with sharp spikes - all to bathe in their blood. You've killed over six hundred women, all without raising a peep from the authorities.

Ps....Happy Valentine's Day.

Luna--the card was sooo awesome!!!! (Lucas, it was a card made via herself of Delerium...^_^)

2003-02-12T14:11:00.000-06:00

lemonade and salty wounds

david is in trouble..and won't be here for valentine's day. i don't want to go into it, partly because i'm too lazy, and partly because it just makes me sad all over again.

he made a deal with his dad though. miss this weekend with me, and during his spring break in april he can come up here for the entire week care of his dad. so he decided to go with that. he felt really bad for missing v-day with me, but i told him we'll have plenty more together, and that made him smile. so that was a good thing. i'm going to keep the present i bought him, and when he comes up here we'll celebrate v-day together...even if it is a couple months late.

this morning life gave me lemons and salt. and instead of making lemonade, i poured the salt into my wounds. and even though it burns and hurts, it'll get better.

2003-02-11T23:35:00.000-06:00

two days...

two days and its valentine's day!

and finally finally i have a special guy to share it with. yea!

anyway, today alexis and i went to target and bought valentine cards for the girls on our floor. we filled them out and taped them to the doors. ^_^ also, we got little gifts for taumi, rachael, and kenisha...all of whom have been going through bad times. it made them feel better...we just split the cost on their gifts. then alexis bought me this stuffed dog that looks JUST LIKE SUMMER!!! i love it so much!!! ^_^!

ok, not much else..i have to redo my rough draft for my conference tomorrow...ciao!

2003-02-10T13:24:00.000-06:00

oops

damn. i forgot that i had a class on monday. i just woke up about fifteen minutes ago...only to remember than in about an hour and a half i have to go to french and then psychology. oh well. at least the classes are easy. oh yea. i also have a couple of worksheets to do for french. but that's after i blog.

check it out! i made little buttons for my site so nice people with their own blogs/websites (hint hint!) can link me! yea! hehe, and as soon as i get the hang of it, i'll make super cooler ones too. with animations. ooh. this all goes to thank michele for sending me the paintshop pro...which she will teach me how to properly use when she and david (yea!!!) come up here in only four days!

ok, i think i really should go do my french hw. after class i think i'll redo the layout here..i'm tired of the grey..mwahaha. maybe. i'll probably be too lazy.

2003-02-09T18:49:00.000-06:00

lazy sundays

i've spent this entire day doing absolutly nothing. how great is that?

luna--glad you enjoyed the email. i thought it was funny as well...the things people do. especially the man with the winnabego..

come to think of it..i think i have a rough draft for a paper due on tuesday. so i still have monday to do it. score. i just realized that i only have one final exam to take this semester. pyschology is giving me the option of being exempt...im loving every second of it. french is the only class where i have a final...and it's written. meaning i just have to do a bunch of translations...it's so close to spanish that im not very worried about it. go me. the only thing that sucks is that it's on tuesday night. yes, night. 7pm final. how retarded is that? which means i cant go home til wednesday. oh well. my mommy will come up here and help me pack...then it's home for the summer! yea!

it'll pass by super quick, which is awesome. can't wait to go home. i really wanna go out to scarborough fair this summer. dunno why, just do. sf rocks.

so i did some updating on my site...it's controversial..and i love it. i've been getting the "are you a lesbian or something" questions from alot of random people. let's make something clear: just because i show an arfully tasteful lesbian pic on my site does not mean i am one. even though..that pic is pretty hot...

violet visions v.3.o: deep desires

be sure to sign the guestbook...it's all i can do to figure out a way to get more traffic to my site. i make these new layouts and updates so people (thats you guys) appreciate them and tell me so...when i get around to it, i'll post some poetry on there too. but i've been a little busy with my second very kick ass book: the mourning star. also going to be a big seller...right after the rising, which as you know is undergoing major editing before i seek out a nice publisher to make me rich.

wow, haven't had an update like this in ages. mainly been quizzes lately..but you know i'm a sucker for those online quizzes...

i guess that about does it for now. casper is on tv. that was really random...leave a comment and make me feel warm and fuzzy.

*yours truly.*

2003-02-07T17:19:00.000-06:00

violet. of course.

VIOLET

You surround yourself with art and music and are constantly driven to express yourself. You often daydream. You prefer honesty in your relationships and belive strongly in your personal morals.

Find out your color at Stvlive.com!

2003-02-07T13:51:00.000-06:00

sweet!

discover what candy you are @ stvlive.com

2003-02-06T08:44:00.000-06:00

neech! beech!

your bitch.

What swear word are you?
brought to you by Quizilla

yep. that sounds about right.

*yours truly.*

2003-02-06T02:32:00.000-06:00

not-so angelic

yea, so i finally got around to making some updates to not-so angelic, which is my website. i wish i had money to by my own domain..but alas i do not. but anyways. i added pictures finally. and soon too come will be a shrine to the hotness of tatu. and then one to jessica alba, shakira...and all the other girls i seem to have heterosexual crushes on. lol.

in other news, david does not have appendicities. he has a torn abdominal wall. which means no strenuous activities for three weeks. -_- he is coming up next week. which i cannot wait! ^_^ michele will be here too. i can maybe introduce her to luna...oooh. shibby.

also...i've decided to majorly redo the ending of "the rising" which as most of you know is my kick ass first novel. it means cutting the book a few chapters shorter than i originally wanted, but i think the ending will be better for it. so i'll be working on that this weekend. i've also got a great idea for another book...based on a character i created. mucho secretive with this project though. but when it gets under way, i'll start sharing. i've only got a page or so written..but i've got great plans and ideas for it already. just too busy to sit and write them all down.

i've been trying to write a thesis for my first paper of the semester for english. been on it since about 11pm. just now finished. it is 2:28am. you know how anal i get with writing. plus my english teacher (yes the one i had a fantasy about) seems like she'll grade super hard...>.< and we all know that i simply CANNOT make anything below and "a" on a paper....wish me luck.

*yours truly.*

2003-02-05T20:28:00.000-06:00

freekay

Legolas

Who is your Ideal Lord of the Rings (male) Mate?
brought to you by Quizilla

DUH! ^_^v

today was mi madre's bday. finally over the hill. happy birthday to her. also..freekay random shit:

reading luna's journal...notice a comment by some one named michele, so i think...that'd be weird if it was michele (the one i know..the one driving my baby up here to see me next week..and i cant wait.) and guess what? it was!! lol. freekay.

david is doing better..he called me this morning...voice mail actually. but he promised to call again tonight. said he'd probably be out thursday or friday. hope he can still come up here....

thats about it...

oh yea. i bout the TATU cd...and it rocks, and i want to be just like them now. ^_^

2003-02-04T20:33:00.000-06:00

reverting to my roots

i've had enough of pretending. being nice and putting aside what i like to watch on tv, what i want to listen to on the computer, how long i am on the computer...enough. i've been doing these things to keep away any negatives that might arise like they did earlier this semester. but honestly..rap music sucks. sure, every now and again a song will catch my attention, but on the whole--it sucks.

i do not, and never will, like bet. i hate that it even exists. not that its a station for hip-hop and rap..but that it's "black" entertainment television. blacks arent the only people who like that sort of music.

was watching american idol today and a black guy was singing. pretty mediocer..not anything special. hated the outfit. so salem and i are pointing out the things we dont like..just goofying around...and who takes it seriously? alexis. honestly..its not that big of a deal. jsut because we didnt like him does not mean we do not like black people. i swear. i hate ignorant close-minds. she then goes off on "well why doesnt your friend dress him? fucking faggot." ugh!! i hated that. and i got up and yelled at her for it...i dont belittle her idiot ignorant friends..so there is certainely no reason for her to belittle mine. i really wich sarah or dusty was here...i'd make out with them in front of her just to do it. im not lesbian..but ive kissed em..doesnt make me any less of a person. i still think im a great girl.

speaking of kissing...this is completely off subject. but in english today..for some reason, when lacy (my gta) walked in..i had this really vivid mental picture of us making out. it was just for a second or two..but it was there. am i nuts or what?

anyway, gotta go. more to come later.

2003-02-04T13:56:00.000-06:00

the sham

yea so guilty i've fallen into the routine of watching joe millionare with the rest of the idiots of america who find pleasure in shows like that. oh well. ^_^;;

but monday's episode...he picked zora?? wtf?? she is such a flucking retard! she doesn't like him at all. and the blonde girl is a gold digger sent from hell. so no matter who he picks he's screwed. zora will leave because of the dishonesty. and the other girl will leave because he really has no money. melissa was suppose to win...but like i said wtf?!

ok thus ends this mini-post. i'm off to french. ciao.

2003-02-03T15:14:00.000-06:00

blech

i swear this cafeteria needs to do something. people like me cannot live off of salad alone. maybe all the other girls can turn up their noses to the shitty food and settle for a daily salad. but i am not quite that healthy...nor am i trying to lose weight to become sickly thin. I NEED MEAT DAMMIT! really now. yea, so they put out chicken...that's ALL they put out. what about BEEF??? or PORK?? ya know..all those other little animals that people like me like to eat. i'm not asking for a steak dinner (although that would be really nice) i'm just asking for something alittle more than stir fry or salad everynight.

and don't tell me that i can order out...i get sick of chinese and pizza too..plus i am not made of money. i paid for meals dammit. not appetizer salads. i'm not the average skinny as a rail blonde hair blue eyed all i wanna eat is a small salad and maybe a grapefruit girl. ima i want some steak and baked potatoes and corn on the cob a good hearty meal type of girl. and if all the other girls wanna look at me like i'm nuts for eating chili's baby back ribs last night, so be it. i don't think i am fat or overweight and i'ma hella lot bigger than most girls here. so to the gsp cafeteria: quit putting posters all around telling us to eat healthy. i'll eat like i want. if i want to clog up my arteries, let me!!!

2003-01-31T22:26:00.000-06:00

old navy sales and lucas's friday five

i just got back about an hour ago from old navy. i got a really cool, warm, soft, and fuzzy grey hoodie for six bucks. then i got a cute blue baseball themed type of shirt for five. and a long sleeve red shirt for only nintey-seven cents. go me.

FRIDAY FIVE! (stolen from lucas.)

1. As a child, who was your favorite superhero/heroine? Why?

Shera or Wiley Kat from the Thundercats.

2. What was one thing you always wanted as a child but never got?

I got most of the toys I wanted, nothing sticks out that I didn't get...but I remember wanting to grow up in just one place so I could make a friend that I could be friends with longer than a year.

3. What's the furthest from home you've been?

Germany or France...Germany is farther I think.

4. What's one thing you've always wanted to learn but haven't yet?

Well my goal is to learn guitar and five languages. I know 2 of the five. Currently learning French. Then onto German and Japanese.

5. What are your plans for the weekend?

Tomorrow I am gonna go to the laundromat and do laundry..afterwards, I'll just play it by ear.

2003-01-29T17:30:00.000-06:00

bonjour mon amie!

french is too easy. i swear, it so closely resembles spanish that i could easily take the written exam and test into a higher french. but it's too late to do that even if i wanted...besides, i like being the smartest kid in the class. ^_^

so french is going well. my english teach rocks--she is so cool. she would have to be cool, how many proffessors do you know have their tongue peirced? exactly. math, is well math...but at least my ta is alot cooler than last semester. i want a kareoki machine...i like singing...and i want to be in a band.

speaking of which i saw the tatu video for "all the things she said" (english dub) and i swear that video is something i would do...girls in school girl outfits, out in the rain (white shirt..panty shots), and they make out with eachother!! yea...and i want the cd..but i want the russian dub...go figure. i'll get eventually.

i dont have much to post, so i am gonna go and talk french to myself and sing along to the music playing.

au revoir!

**ps: thanks for the concerns luna, but i'm as plum as a peach! (i made that up..basically i'm fine.)**

2003-01-27T20:58:00.000-06:00

sex!

i know i haven't posted in ages...i've been busy..but things are settling down now, so updates should come more frequently. thanks to luna and her bday gift for me! ^_^

and now, the sex quizzage results XD

Your Sex Sign is aries!

aries, you are headstrong, spolied, fiery in temperment, and fiercely independent. You always want to be the best anyone's ever had, and you'll spend all night convincing your lover that you are. Don't worry - you usually are the best anyone has ever had. When you get down, you don't leave out anything. Sexually, you're a leader and very sure of yourself. One of your favorite positions is being on top, where you can move freely - while letting your lover observe you orgasm. Sex with you is always exciting. You start with teasing, playful seduction - that always drives your lovers wild with frustration. You always deliver though!
You love being over powered, and you respond to a strong sexual appetite with equal fervor. The confident lover who can give you breathtaking, powerful sex will have you eating out of his or her hand.

What's *Your* Sex Sign?

More Great Quizzes from Quiz Diva

WOW!!!! I SO TOTALLY ROCK IN BED!!! ^_~

2003-01-21T15:47:00.000-06:00

apologies

yesterday i will admit i had a really upsetting away message that worried a few people. i came back to my computer with 23 different ims. of those, maybe 4 people really cared...for the rest of you, quit looking for drama to dig your noses into. to the four people i know truly care--i'm sorry i worried you.

here's the truth i am willing to reveal at this time:
i did find out something about myself. it is not really something to be ashamed of or worry about, but for the time being i would like to deal with it alone and work out my issues by myself. i'd really appreciate it if you could just leave me alone when i continue to tell you that it's "nothing" or "don't worry about it." all i am trying to tell you in a nice way is to just let me deal with it. some times i am just not ready to let even my close friends in on the things that happen in my life when i learn about them. it's a pretty big issue to me, even if it is nothing to worry about, and when i had people persist to pry into what was wrong (as much as i appreciate the fact that you care) it just really pissed me off. i know you mean well, but some times i have to be left alone. when i am ready to come around and share, i will. and if it is apparent (as i so made it yesterday) that i do not want to talk, don't pressure me. you can ask me a couple days later if you want to see if i am ready, but don't push me and then call me names behind my back. if you really cared, you'd respect my wishes and try to be supportive of me regardless of whether you know every little detail or not.

so for the 19 people who im'ed me out of curiousity and a desire to just be nosy, fuck off and get a fucking life.

as for the 4 people who i am certain really do care, thanks for being there but right now i want to deal with it on my own.

2003-01-18T19:57:00.000-06:00

t & r lineup

debts are paid! tuesday i go to my classes and get the professors to sign an open card...this enables me to enroll in classes that are otherwise full...^_^

so my schedule looks like this:

Tuesdays and Thursdays (TR)
Communications (Speaking with an Audience)
Math
English
French

Mondays, Wednesdays, and Fridays (MWF)
French
Psychology

A relatively easy schedule..but a good one. 17 credit hours. Not bad.

2003-01-17T13:29:00.000-06:00

stolen lunch trays

it's 16 degrees out with 8inches of snow. the courtyard view from my window is one of the coolest sights i've seen. no footprints, and freshly fallen snow...it's incredibly pretty.

yesterday we stole lunch trays (which was really quite funny actually) and went sledding down the hills around our dorms. it was the funnest thing to do--i've never been sledding, so it was a real treat. i must do it again!

anyway, i'm doing late enrollment--hopefuly tuesday i can go. i still owe 375...but my aunt said to call her and she'd pay it..so i've been trying to reach her, but i dont know when she gets off of work, so i'll just keep trying. wish me luck...things have been really stressful lately.

bah to stress.

2003-01-16T02:42:00.000-06:00

spring semester?

whoever decided that this was the spring semester was an idiot. there is a fall semester, and this which they say is the "spring" semester, is really just a frigid bitch. it's 21 degrees outside and snowing. supposedly we're getting 6inches of snow. blech.

anyway, i am not going to write about my break..don't feel like it. i will say this:

HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO ME!!!!

ok, so my bday was on the 9th, but only a handful of ppl around me bothered to wish me it, so oh well. happy 19 for me. my biggest gift? getting my belly pierced. so very cute!

2002-12-30T10:47:00.000-06:00

the only update for this break

^_^ hahaha. i found a computer and i am updating. xmas was good...lots of clothes. no money--gay gay gay. like salem gay. (which, btw is pretty gay---salem...i love you!)

ok no more to say...i've seen two towers 7 times now. ^_^ mwahahah. i know all the lines!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I love Billy Boyd and Orlando Bloom...and treebeard & smeagol were awesome!

ok bye bye!

2002-12-19T09:04:00.000-06:00

one hour

in about an hour i'll be on the shuttle to mci. jazz final went by with a quickness...so easy. i'm fairly confident that i did really well on it. ^-^ i'm listening to "road to the west" from the cowboy bebop soundtrack...highly recommended. so soothing.

the only thing plugged in my dorm right now is the computer, lol. i don't plan on unplugging it until it is really necessary. too bad i can't be on as much as i want to over the break--but you guys can manage without some updates. oh, now christina aguilera's "beautiful" is playing---i really love the lyrics.

ok, so i arrive at mci airport around what, 11-11:30...check in, go through security (which contrary to popular belief, does not take you three hours), afterwhich i'll still have about an hour to go before my flight leaves..i'll probably eat lunch at the airport, cuz i am starving and they closed the cafeteria yesterday (really gay because i am soo hungry now..but i can't open food, otherwise i have to throw it out cuz it will spoil). i am eating an apple now, but bleh...it's not filling me up. then again, there is that huge ass bag of m&m's storey gave me..thanks babe..you're saving my life right now. ^-^

anyway, back to the plans...plane takes off at 1...i arrive at dfw by 2:30. get home by what, 3...unpack an outfit to take some family pic my mom is dying to do, and then i will eat something! (maybe even get mom to stop off at mcdonalds or something on the way home from dfw)...after which, if the car is fixed--like she told me it would be--i'll go to the band concert around 6:15, to see the kids that where fish my senior year, this way they can't bitch at me for not visiting...i mean really--i am not really there for you guys..sorry, but it's true. i am home because kansas blows and i have time to go home. because of family. and friends...close friends. ie: sarah, keith, amy, david, chris, chad, etc. the people that really know me...not just the random girls that have crushes on me..ie: krystal, vanessa, sarah w., and the rest...

and if i don't go to the concert, then mom is taking me and manny to go see two towers, since keith can't go with me on friday---boo to you! though i hear the movie totally rocks...and of course it does...pippen is the best and legolas is hot. and it's tolkien...that's just awesome in itself.

ridiculous. i've been writing for what, five or so minutes, and it's only 9:01---this hour is going to drag on like no other....and no one is online!!! -_-

on the plus, by 3 o'clock, i'll be with summer!!!!!!

one hour..

2002-12-18T16:58:00.000-06:00

x-mas break

this will probably be my last update til i get back from the break. i don't exactly have access to a computer, unless i steal sarah's when i visit her. then again, if i am there, i am probably not going to be online. so don't expect me to be online much either. anyway, alexis went home today...some others did too. most won't leave til tomorrow or friday though.

me, i leave tomorrow. i have a jazz history final at 7:30am, i doubt it will take me too long to do, so i am estimating that i will be out of there by 8:30. then i head back to the dorms, make sure all the last minute stuff is taken care off. go to the cafeteria, get a togo bag, fill it with the leftovers that will spoil if i dont take them home, by the time i do all this it will probably be time for me to go to the airport. so i'll catch the shuttle at 10, be at the airport at 11:15 or so. I'll get through security and probably eat lunch there since my flight leaves at 1. then i'll be in gp by 2:30...and i'll go visit ppl at the band concert at 6:30. wow..tomorrow is a busy bee day for me!

i hope you all have a great break, a wonderful christmas, and an even better new year! see all my ku ppl when i get back on the 15th!!! love you!!!

2002-12-17T01:44:00.000-06:00

david, why can't you just call?

you say you're going to call. you promise you're going to call. and then you don't call.

it's not the first time either...it's the third time since thursday.

why can't you just call?

it's almost 2am, and i am eating chicken stew watching tv and chatting online. the lights are all on, and i am keeping myself awake--despite the fact that i have a math final at ten-thirty tomorrow morning. he might call...right?

david..why can't you just call?

2002-12-14T15:45:00.000-06:00

band nerd

i am and always will be a band nerd.

i saw drumline last night with the b-east girls. (that's east basement...meaning kenisha, nicole, alexis, taumi, and rachael.) it was ok..enjoyed the movie. but that eternal band nerd within me was cringing with horror at the intensely flat sounding band, the poor horn position on the feild, and the absolutely horrible spacing during sets. ack! hehehe, plus the actual drumline was not right. there were 5basses (which i guess is ok), about 7snares (about four too many) and only 1 tenor (umm? we need about two more..) and there were three symbols (they needed one more). but hey, it was just a movie, and it was fun going out again. ^-^

2002-12-13T21:18:00.000-06:00

*giggles*

ignorance is a funny thing.

i recently visited a friends journal and i left a rather sarcastic post. being that i am rather close to this friend (or at least i thought so...) i assumed that he would 'get' the humor in my post, since i thought he knew i am rather sarcastic and dry with my humor. well he didn't. i was yelled at then!!!!!!!!! the nerve of the friends who read his journal who DO NOT know me in ANY sense proceeded to badger me. grrr. i disliked that. therefore, since i am currently not friends with this person and since it seems taht everytime i post in his journal some one yells at me...i have stopped visiting. it's sad, because i enjoyed reading it, but there isnt a point if i cant reply an opinion. which, btw, is what i was yelled at for...for voicing my opinion and what i think in his guestbook. why would it be there if i couldn't???

2002-12-13T17:48:00.000-06:00

acceptance

last night i went to jack-flanigans with kenisha, nicole, and alexis. it was ok. not the greatest club to go to, but not too bad. ^-^. beginning of the night, not alot of people had arrived yet, so we watched other people "dance". that was hilariously funny. wow. i am not even going to go into the sort of antics we saw otherwise i'll get hatemail saying what a horrible person i am and how i am to be condemed to a hell i don't believe in. hahah, but man was that funny. well finally i got up and joined everyone on the dance floor, it was fun. i was dancing with this one guy...eww. he looked like he was 23, but after the dance, he asked my name and whatnot, and then asked how old i was...when i said i was about a month shy of 19, he had this horror-stricken look on his face. as it turns out, he was 30 and thought i was at least 23. !!!!! how do you mistake short little me for 23?! ugh. it wasn't soo bad, but it was really disgusting.

i might join them again to see drumline, but then again i might not. they are planning on going to a kappa party afterwards, and after being molested (hehe) by a guy almost old enough to be my father, i am not really in the 'party' mood. though it was nice to get out of the dorm for a change.

i guess i've accepted the fact that sometimes i'll be invited to go out, and sometimes i won't be. it's nice to be invited, but i suppose since alot of times i turn down party invitations, they don't even bother to include me. at least i know it's not because they just don't want my company. they've also made it clear that they don't mind when i just invite myself along. in fact, they seem to prefer it rather than go through the semi-formalities of invitations. it's all good i suppose.

the other night (the night taumi and rach and i stayed up) alexis was alittle upset cuz she wanted to sleep, but rather than have her mad at me for weeks, i apologized out front. i am really proud of myself for doing that...very responsible. ^-^

2002-12-12T17:19:00.000-06:00

\/\/007!!!

NO MORE CLASSES UNTIL JANUARY 16th!!!

2002-12-12T13:31:00.000-06:00

better

well the no friends bit is better. last night, alexis, rachael and i took taumi's car out for a mcdonalds run around midnight. yum yum. when we got back, we ate it in taumi's room, where taumi was struggling with a paper for her social work class. then i couldn't find my cell, so rach and i went back to taumi's car where it was found. somehow we migrated from taumi's room to our room. we were just up, talking, doing homework. i was editing and revising taumi's paper at her request to make her sound smart. lol. alexis ended up falling asleep, but taumi stayed up studying and so did rachael. (both had tests today) i just stayed up on the computer. ^-^v. somewhere around 5am, alexis woke up and seemed pretty upset to see that we were all still very much awake, but she fell back asleep soon after. we realized that she was slightly pissed because of this, so we all decided to get an hour and a half's worth of sleep and then we'd take our showers and go eat breakfast. and that's what we did.

oh, i was also forced to watch legally blonde which is quite possible the worst piece of trash ever created for a cinema audience. blech.

today was also my last day of jazz history with prof. clarence henry. wonderful guy. funny as hell. we talked about the fusion of rock and jazz, as well as early hip hop influences in jazz...this lead us to listen to two versions of rapper's delight (oh yea!!) and then discuss it. much much fun.

anyway, i've got about an hour before my last math class ever!!! and i could not be happier! all we are doing is reviewing for the final, it's not even mandatory to attend, but i am going, because the review will do me good. i'm also going to an ses review session for math on sunday at the union. go me for being a studious student. the free food helps too! ^-^

that's it for now. ciao, babes!

oh! ps, i plan on doing some updating for my site this weekend too...

2002-12-10T22:31:00.000-06:00

no friends?

i wonder what happened. for the past couple of weeks i've had lots of friends in the hall, and i was invited to go to lunch, out for mcdonalds, movies, etc. and now...it's all stopped. i'm being left out of plans, yet people are still talking to me. it's really confusing. i can hear them all out in the hallway, blowdrying their hair and giggling to one another. and here i am, updating my blog about my sad, pathetic little life. thuy has stopped talking to me as much, now she is nice to me when ever she needs my computer. which is going to stop.

ugh. maybe it's all in my head, but i just feel more and more left out. no one up here is planning on seeing Lord of the Rings: Two Towers on the 18th when it comes out...*sigh* of all the things, i was really looking forward to it--i guess i'm not suppose to see it on day one. i know it's finals week and alot of people have finals...but not every one can have a final at 8pm or so....

do i still have no friends after being here for an entire semester?

2002-12-09T23:05:00.000-06:00

penis

tonight was fun. we ate pizza, watched tv, and giggled lots. i talked to david too. giggled more. then taumi and i began drawing penises and girls giving guys head on people's erase boards. we were goofy. then taumi sang badly to kelly clarkson. but it was fun. that's all. fruit punch is good. and morgan still cannot complete the rubix cube.

2002-12-08T22:27:00.000-06:00

CALVIN AND HOBBES ROCKS MY WORLD!

I am Hobbes!
You're a bit too mellow to be an incarnation of Calvin, but you're still his best pal. You don't mind having fun, though, and enjoy playing tricks on your friends when they least expect it.

Which Calvin are YOU?

2002-12-08T16:50:00.000-06:00

bored.

gawd this weekend has been boring. in fifteen minutes i am going to lay in bed and watch dirty dancing. meanwhile, here are a few more quizzes...^_^

which eye are you?
brought to you by Quizilla

you tell me, do my eyes really show unhappiness? i'd like to say they show mystery, but whatever...

What's Your Personality Type?
brought to you by Quizilla

hurrah! life goal accomplished. i am a geek.

there was another quiz..what box am i..i am a non-box..i dont really fit in anywhere..but i closed the window on accident. oh well.

2002-12-06T21:57:00.000-06:00

more quizzage

What kind of Goth would you be?
brought to you by Quizilla

goths must really hate me for this..but eh..it's cool. the pic reminds me a little lilo from 5th element. oh yea!!

What Kind of FLIRT are you?
brought to you by Quizilla

hey there handsome...

What Is Your True Aura Colour?
brought to you by Quizilla

was there any doubt?

2002-12-06T17:05:00.000-06:00

dressing up like rose

just a few quizzes: my brand of sexy and my sexual fetish. like it was any surprise..

What sexy girl are you
brought to you by Quizilla

What's YOUR sexual fetish?
brought to you by Quizilla

2002-12-06T16:27:00.000-06:00

grr

so taumi informed me outside of strong hall that her, kenisha, rachael, and alexis are going out and they want me to go cuz i never get out of the dorm. their plan is to get me drunk and take me to a few clubs and bars. my answer? good luck. i don't drink...and i really don't plan on starting. yea, i have a weird fetish for wine..but that's about it. i don't plan on going out now. i did tell alexis i would go to a club with her, but if their plan is to get me drunk, forget it. i am not riding around with a bunch of drunken girls...who, might i add, hated my guts not too long ago. anyway, that's all i had to post...i think i'll go work on the rising. i just thought up a twisted ending...^_^

2002-12-06T13:01:00.000-06:00

what's done is done

i took my math exam today...and i actually feel really confident about it. maybe two or three problems that i felt shaky. in any case, i really think i passed. so that's good i suppose. i withdrew from biology today, too. i felt kinda bad, i've never quit anything like that, but at the same time, if i take the final it's only gonna hurt my gpa, so i guess it's better to withdraw. i'm also going to meet with my advisor next week on tuesday to talk to her about changing my major to journalism instead of keeping it pre-med. i figure i should do something i really really enjoy and am good at (journalism) rather than do something i am not good at all but still some how enjoy (premed). well we'll see. i won't do anything til after the break, this way i can talk to my parents about it. my mom won't mind--she's always told me do what i want as long as it makes me happy. i don't think my dad will mind either, but i think he'll be a little more disappointed. oh well...what's done is done and i have to do what i have to do.

anyhow, my microwave is beeping at me repeatidly to take the food out (the cafeteria...ugh..just past it made me gag). and i think i am coming down with a slight fever...bah. need orange juice to revive me. mwahaha. ciao for now!

2002-12-05T21:41:00.000-06:00

poetry pause

living in memory

on the wall
our the remains
of a life
we have yet
to outgrow.
photos
scattered in
albums--
memories
we refuse
to let go.
too scared
to grab life
by the balls
and live
more than we've
ever lived.

Nov. 10, 02

just a note: i've deleted my poetry blog. any new poetry will just be shown here..it's just easier that way. ^_~

2002-12-05T17:09:00.000-06:00

oh happy day

hurrah! i made a kick ass gingerbread house. for pics email me. i also found out that i have until the 23rd to get my financial stuff taken care of and enroll. so i can pay it all when i get back from break...and enroll. i'll have the worst sched, but hey, i'll still be here. ^_^ that's it!!!

"i used to have a little now i have alot, i'm still, i'm still ali from the block" hehehe.

2002-12-04T16:14:00.000-06:00

with yet another sigh...

so my plan to post pone enrollment was a dud. which means i have until friday to come up with 260 bucks. will it happen? i very high chance at no...well, i suppose its that classic case: the family who has the kid that really wants college can't afford it where as the family who can afford it has their kid dropping out. (referring to my cousin)

well, it was a good run, and i had fun. maybe i can pick it up again...but very few people who have to drop college go back...

i'm just another statistic with yet another sigh.

*sigh*

2002-12-03T11:03:00.000-06:00

welcome back!

i hate breaks as i love them.

i love 'em because well its a break and i get to go home. but there is no computer for me to mess around with...no way for me to read everyone's blogs and update my own. as it were, last night i had a hefty hour of reading all the blog entries i missed...

went to jazz today...learning about latin music styles. hurrah! much fun. i should start my math homework now, i didn't do any of it over the break, blech. but i figured i had time to update at least a little for now. it feels so good to be typing...haha, such a goofball i am.

many thanks to lennon simpson for editing the first seven chapters of the rising and doing a damn good job on it too. expect my dedication page to go towards him...*kiss*

actually, this weekend i should be able to do some writing in it. i have to do math homework pretty soon and then tonight i have a rough draft for english to write. then tomorrow i HAVE to go to the bursars office and get this thingy paid off..even though i am still a little short..but pray for a miracle or something. i may be able to postpone enrollment until the week i get back--i'll have incredibly shitty classes--but at least i'll still be here...

oooh! i got this shibby new tv with a dvd player, and when i turn it on/off it makes this burrito-neato atari game noise. i love it. um...thats all for now..on to the heating up of the rice i brought with me from home followed by a torturous math assignment....

2002-11-26T11:06:00.000-06:00

quizzage before a break

I am 40% Geek

You probably work in computers, or a history deptartment at a college. You never really fit in with the "normal" crowd. But you have friends, and this is a good thing.

Take the Geek Test at fuali.com

damn. i was kinda hoping for a little above 50%.

I am 51% Emo

Well.. I've made the cut! Now I'll go buy some promise rings and knit myself a sweater.

Take the Emo Test at fuali.com

as long as i get to wear a tie and a hat, i'm all set...

I am 48% Goth

Goth ny night, normal by day. Deep in my heart I know I am evil, but not on the company's time. I do need to eat.

Take the Goth Test at fuali.com

i'm going to take this to mean i am a sexy bitch.

I am 59% Internet Addict

I am pretty addicted, but there is hope. I think I'm just well connected to the internet and technology, but it's really a start of a drug-like addiction. I must act now! Unplug this computer!

Take the Internet Addict Test at fuali.com

phe...it ain't so bad.

I am 34% Tortured Artist

I have some artistic ability, but it is probably a hobby and doesn't drive my life into a dark abysmal hole were I am alone and against the world.

Take the Tortured Artist Test at fuali.com

artistic ability...it's there...just got to find it.

I am 53% Raver

I may not be freaky like those Candy Kids, but I do know how to party. I am well connected in the scene, but may be getting a little tired of it.

Take the Raver Test at fuali.com

this i just don't get. i can't rave...i just like plastic bracelets and candy.

I am 63% Evil Genius

Evil courses through my blood. Lies and deceit motivate my evil deeds. Crushing the weaklings and idiots that do nothing but interfere in my doings.

Take the Evil Genius Test at fuali.com

excellent. *evil smile*

What's your sexual appeal?
brought to you by Quizilla

um, alright.

What Sign of Affection Are You?
brought to you by Quizilla

yea!! footsie!!

What Color Eyes Should You Have?
brought to you by Quizilla

well that blows. i already have brown eyes.

Which female sex symbol are you?
brought to you by Quizilla

fuckin-a! i get to be marilyn!

What's Your Bedroom Personality? (For Her)
brought to you by Quizilla

oh yea..

What Final Fantasy summon are you?
brought to you by Quizilla

HELL FUCKING YEA!!!! anyone know where i can get a costume like that? ^-^

What's your brand of sexy?
brought to you by Quizilla

*patting bed next to her* room for one more...*grin*

Which Ultimate Beautiful Woman are You?
brought to you by Quizilla

*wink*

and that's all for now folks!! hope every one has a great thanksgiving break and a wonderful day of turkey. i'll be back monday! *kiss*

stay lovely.

2002-11-25T19:12:00.000-06:00

hell yes.

that's all i can say to this...

Which guy are you destined to have sex with?
brought to you by Quizilla

hell yes.

ps--i wont be updating over the break..no computer at home. so sorry...*kiss*

damn i love my quiz results...hell yes.

HELL FUCKING YES!!

2002-11-24T22:13:00.000-06:00

quizzage

Take the Dessert Quiz

2002-11-24T20:09:00.000-06:00

and then there was salem

i saw hp last night. it rawked so much. simpsons were good too--marge had breasts!!! like me!! LOL

i just talked to salem on the phone..i miss salem. he needs to hurry up and call me back...salem, we are going to do something over the break. hurrah for the salem and sarah and alice sleepover. to wong fu, and much much more. hehehe. ok, back to malcom in the middle..

i love salem saladbar.

2002-11-23T16:48:00.000-06:00

the chamber opens!

yea! luna and i are going to see harry potter and the chamber of secrets tonight. i can't wait....hehehe. i don't have much of a post today, i saw signs at the union last night...i freak myself out. i kept thinking an alien was going to burst through my window. creepy. anyhow, i clueless is on tv and i am watching it. ok, so since i don't have much else to say i guess i'll end this here and wait til six pm so i can go to an atm and see hp2 at seven...only about an hour to go and two hours til the movie!!

2002-11-22T11:38:00.000-06:00

better days

good news...after a long, nearly two hour talk my roommate and i have agreed to work out our problems. she came out and apologized for being bitchy and childish, and we talked things out, and so now things are fine. we are going to redo our 'agreement' so that in the event this happens again, the tv/fridge/microwave/computer for academic use will be able to be used by the two of us. and the computer is used for academic use only, and only if she helps pay for ink/paper. so things are better.

yea..remember how i was studying dna polymerse like crazy? well guess what...my stupid alarm didn't go off. so who slept with through the exam??? me! but..after tortureous hours of waiting, my proffessor is nice enough to let me take a make up exam on monday. so thank goodness for that.

um..also..tuesday i get to go to ft leavenworth with dad and manny to buy me clothes and the super tv with both dvd and vhs capabilities...

and...i might go see harry potter this weekend.

i made chocolate chocobos last night.

i get to go see signs for free at the union today.

woohoo!

2002-11-20T22:21:00.000-06:00

bad alice

i am suppose to be studying dna polymerse and protien synthisis along with a bit of mendelian genetics for my bio exam tomorrow. i've read up on mendelian genetics--that's easy. i've done ps too. i'm stuck in dna polymerse. it's just incredibly boring and i've been studying non-stop since about six-thirty. lie, i took a thirty min. break around eight-thirty to go take a shower...but by nine i was studying again. so i guess this is my second break, even though i shouldn't be taking it. i want to do the practice exam and see how badly i bomb it...this way i know more or less how bad i am going to fail tomorrow's test. i'm beginning to think that another eight or so years of biology is just not for me. we'll see...

well, i finally talked to my ra, heather. she told me she heard something was wrong between me in alexis yesterday from valerie and that i was responsible to come to her. so i explained the situation: alexis hates me for unknown reasons and is being childish about it by not wanting to sched. a roommate meeting and by not letting me touch her things (ie: fridge, microwave, tv). so all in all i have to find away (or some one) to tell alexis to clear a spot in her little sched. because we have to meet with heather if she really wants out of this room. the easiest way would be to switch roommates..but to do that we have to have four people all in agreement..and that's a bit tough. but dammit..i'll find someway to make it happen. the toughest part is actually trying to get alexis to listen to me for a moment to talk about getting a meeting sched. i have to do it soon--if we don't switch up roommates/rooms by the end of the semester we are stuck with ea. other. blech. so tuesday i get to get out of math by 3 or so, and tutoring was cancelled...therefore dad (and manny, who is coming along to visit me) is going to take me to ft. leavenworth tues. afternoon to buy me a fridge, tv, and microwave. and therefore alexis will have to move her stuff off of my lovely little fridge stand and tv stand. bwahaha. oh! i also talked to my mom earlier and told her that dad was gonna buy the stuff for me and she told me that alexis was probably jealous of me for the following reasons (all of which have left me in a good mood all night): i'm beautiful, smart, and i get along with everyone. i'm very adaptable, mature, poised, and graceful. i am not afraid to be my own person. this she told me scares them, because most people give into peer pressure and i never have. plus i am hispanic and from texas when every one here is kansan and white/black. i'm automatically an outsider. which i liked the idea of being an outsider...makes me unique in a way. ok ok ok. i've procrastinated long enough---going back to study.

quick note for laughter: *she* is playing her rap radio b.s. and left the room--all to annoy me. hahaha. my comp. sound sys. blows her dinky stereo away...hmm what to listen to? slipknot? disturbed? something equally loud that she will not like? hmm...looks like my 'annoy alexis' playlist will be playing now...

2002-11-20T15:47:00.000-06:00

more quizzes!

Click here to find out!!!">

i was kinda hopin' for jack...hehe. oh well.

in other news..my dad is coming up on tuesday and he is taking me to ft leavenworth to get my own fridge, tv, microwave...so i won't have to worry about hers.

fin!

2002-11-19T22:58:00.000-06:00

shaky

ugh. i've had such a horrible past few hours!

she lost her cell phone temporarily. she and the rest of the lemming sheep started looking for it. me? me, i was on the computer as usual, talking to valerie, sarah, keith, and a few other people. well here is the rest of the story as it stands thus far...

She barges in here acusing me of MOVING her cell phone and TURNING IT OFF. And I explain her calmly: I have been on the computer, and why are you accusing me of touching your cell phone. what would i want with your cell? And she goes off...i stop listening, letting it go in one ear and out the other while slowly fuming with rage...and now i am not to touch any of her things. which leaves me wondering--should that mean that none of her things should be on my things?? such as her tv/books/stereo on my little crate thing? or her microwave/tv on my fridge stand? and i am so pissed off (tho i suppose i look quite calm, because i tend to surpress things) but my hands are shaking...and i can barely type..i hate being accused of things just because i am not liked...my hands are shaking soo much right now..its a wonder i can type...i am that pissed off. my heart feels like its going to explode any moment...but my face looks really calm because i am not going to get as low as she is and start bitching over every damn thing shes ever done thats been annoying.

and she just left. i think they tore something off of my door....i really hate this...

i'm still shaky and i cant type for too much longer...

2002-11-19T19:50:00.000-06:00

keith

keith, really now..after im'ing me claiming that all girls are stupid idiots that all want bad-boy images (which, is only in the cases where hot bad boy vampires and/or shadowmen are involved...for me anyway) you expect me to come sit at my computer and pour out sweet things about you? the chairman of MiB Inc? HA!! you my black friend, are mistaken. that goes to show you: boys are stupid.

"men are such idiots."-faye valentine, cowboy bebop

what sweet adorable thing do i have to say about you? oh yea. keith likes to dream about anakin skywalker jacking off with his metal robotic hand. sicko. jk...

no, keith, you should know better than that. you are one of the most wonderfulest friends i have. as much as you've done for me, and as close as we've become in just a short year, words dont even begin to describe how great a friend you are. don't worry about the girls at south...public edumacation..it screws us all in the end. just hang in there babe, you're almost out...and then you'll be thrown into the college world---it's just like high school...with easier access to beer. but your chances of finding intelligent life increase slightly. *kiss*

keith, no matter what happens, i love you!

2002-11-19T17:12:00.000-06:00

lookie lookie!

lookie what i added! *points to the left hand table with a grin* a weather girl and an imood! wahoo for me! the weather girl was thanks to a miriam i do not know, but i got the link for it from her blog. imood is thanks to lucas since it's been at his blog for a while (and though he never changes it) and i figured i could give my blog a little more shibby. thank you luna for getting me hooked on saying shibby to everything now. hehe.

hurrah! in about an hour there will be free pizza upstairs! bad thing is that i might have to deal with the lemming sheep co. (alexis and the rest of them) at the floor meeting. but i am determined to be happy and not let them bother me. besides, i might get a chance to steal a moment alone with thuy to see if she is aware of the moving thing and if it was something she agreed to or if it was something she was pressured into. poor thing...i have a really strong feeling she was pushed into it. anyhoo..tis all for now.

*kiss*

2002-11-19T01:41:00.000-06:00

why?

honestly now, why do i put myself through this self torture? i just got off the phone with david, because some one had to take the phone away again and so i could only talk to him on my cell phone. and well i was telling him the events that happened...

**flashback to earlier this evening**

alexis is moving in with rachael and thuy is going to move in here. thing is, i am not entirely sure that thuy knows about it...and i don't mind that she is moving in here, but she has alot (repeat: alot) of stuff and it's not all going to fit unless she brings her loft in here (which somehow i doubt that the loft is going to be brought in here). so tomorrow i am going to talk to heather (the ra) and tell her that i don't mind the roommate switching as long as thuy gets her loft...and tell her that i don't like not being consulted on it (even though i dont mind) just because they are acting childish and are not speaking to me over a dead fish.

ok. well talking to david i asked him what is it about me that makes them not like me. i mean, am i really that horrible of a person? i don't think i am. i guess i am just not used to having people have such a blind hatred and dislike for me. it kinda hurts...alot. and i know it shouldn't bother me because they are all so childish and spiteful, and in the end i am going to come out winning and grinning because hate and anger never got any one anywhere....but still...

ugh. i hate that i do this to myself. david told me not to worry because that the people who mattered in my life loved me and that was all that mattered, not a bunch of girls who just can't quite grasp what it means to become an adult. i can't wait to go home--people love me for me there. tomorrow i am emailing my mom to tell her about all this and to ask her to give dad the extra fridge (i'm going to call him and ask him to pick it up before he comes up to get me to go back home to dallas for thanksgiving), because if thuy does move in we are going to me stereoless, tvless, microwaveless, and fridgeless. tv and stereo i could careless about..i have a computer for that. microwave..well there is one upstairs. fridge is needed, and hopefully i can get the extra one at home. i count her moving out as a victory for me, because well she pushed herself out, not me. but at the same time it hurts that people dont like me without having a reason to dislike me...so it's like she won too. they all won....ugh. why why why do i do this to myself?!?

i guess i am gonna go read a little and then try to sleep.

i miss summer. i miss david. *sigh*

i need a hug...

2002-11-18T20:07:00.000-06:00

see you, space cowboy...

Who is Your Cowboy Bebop Soul Mate?

Which Cowboy Bebop Character are you?

2002-11-18T12:40:00.000-06:00

and yet more quizzage

for those of you tired of quizzes and waiting for real posts...complain to luna. i am not stopping with the quizzes til i've done every one i haven't done previously in her blog.

cellpadding="0" bgcolor="#000000" height="200"
bordercolor="#AD9A79">

width="250" height="150">

target="_blank">What
Goth Are You?

Bad-ass, Street Fighting Chick
What Video Game Hero Are You?

Find out what anime series you belong in.

that is all! hurrah!

2002-11-18T00:28:00.000-06:00

quizzage

Whats YOUR Saiyan Brat Hairstyle?

Which Member of the Endless Are You?

I am a STORY TELLER

I am a natural story teller, and tales unfold in my mind almost without thought. I can entertain myself by reading a book that exists only in my head, which might make me seem distant from people at times.

Which Sesame Street Muppet Are You?

2002-11-17T23:56:00.000-06:00

draco malfoy

Immortalized by the famous "Draco Sinister" (by Cassandra Claire), you are witty, sexy, and the typical bad boy girls love. You are paired with Ginny or Hermione, because they remind the author the most of herself. You have sudden special powers that enable you to go along special Voldie-killing missions with Harry and Co. At first you get on everyone's nerves, especially Ron's, but soon everyone learns to love you.
Everyone.

Find out which Draco you are.

2002-11-17T19:31:00.000-06:00

*giggle*

i finally met luna! (remon) i just spent an hour or so in her room just talking about how freaky it is all the things we have in common...so terribly strange..but great! she has a fox tail just like i do! she gave me a little jigglypuff (now sitting on my desk) to cheer me up from my roommate problems. so sweet, huh? i know..its so great. *huggles luna*

oh..lucas--one of her fav. authors is pratchett...o_O

2002-11-17T16:41:00.000-06:00

*sigh*

really, why do i bother?

i had two really good quotes up on my dry erase board, both from the sandman series, and they kept getting erased. one guess as to who. now i can't really prove it was them, but no one else seems to hate me on this floor except for them...

well finally i wrote them on the back of note cards, cut them out and taped them to the door. they got torn down today. they were on this morning, so it had to've been just a few moments ago when they came in. i really wish i knew what i did that makes them hate me so. her trying to annoy me by tearing down quotes doesn't bother me. what bothers me is that i am not used to having people hate me with out reason. i know not every one is going to like me, but i guess this is the first time it's felt like some one is literally going out of their way to annoy me and make sure i feel really bad. and i think that's a horrible thing to do to some one. i really want to meet remon now, and talk to her about all this. i don't know, it just feels like she'd listen and tell me it's going to be ok. i think she's studying math right now or maybe she is out because i haven't gotten an email from her today. but it's ok, i just need some one to talk to. i talked to valerie earlier and she made me feel a lot better. mostly because she just let me vent all of it out.

things around me just continue to crumble. last night was the worst. even though i had the room to myself (alexis now sleeps in rachael's room), i was talking to david, and i don't really remember what we were arguing about...something like we had nothing in common, and it escalated into this huge fight of sorts, and i was left crying on my bed. everything is ok now, but i can't help thinking that his long distance thing is finally getting to us. we never used to fight, and now it seems we are fighting every other time we get on the phone...maybe i snap at him because things are so strained with people around me here. i don't really know. i just wish i could make it go away. i really miss summer. more than anything i want to just call her over and have her lick my hand or cheek so that i can scratch her behind her ears, or on her tummy so that she'll lay down with her head on my lap and fall asleep. it's amazing how a dog can love you unconditionally that way.

some one has taken the liberty of taking my KU sweatshirt away from me. i don't want to make an accusation, and i've even tried telling myself that i misplaced it...but i know that isn't true. and i have my ideas as to who would take it, but i hate to just assume. so maybe i really did misplace it...

*sigh*

this is one of those days where i need some one to talk to and no one is around...david is at a birthday party for kenny and cant call me until late tonight. valerie is at her parents house and wont be back til later. i dont know were lucas is at--on the phone with erin, probably. dusty...i dont know where she is either. remon is out too. and summer..the one out of all those names who can make everything go away just by showing up...is ten hours away, sleeping on my bed waiting for me to come home and tell her i love her. this is the first time i've typed a blog with tears in my eyes. i keep blinking to focus my eyes, and it doesn't work. i hate that i do this to myself.

none of this is my fault, and yet i still feel like it is somehow. i mean, i must have done something to make them hate me...but i can't think of anything i've done other than be myself..which hurts even more. i miss summer terribly...and i desperately need a hug, a shoulder to cry on, and a friend...one that wont turn away when i need them again...

2002-11-17T14:47:00.000-06:00

the dread pirate roberts and valerie

pretty catchy title, eh? almost movie-ish. hehe. well i took the Princess Bride quiz, and i got westly...so cool..cuz he is the best..next to inego de montoya..hehe.

Which Princess Bride Character are You?
this quiz was made by mysti

enough of this. onto valerie...

valerie lives next door to me and is into the same types of supernatural phemomenons as i. she is super cool, and seh let me use her french maid outfit for halloween. anyway, for reasons of whatever, i had this urg to complain about the six year old i live with and her nine year old companion. and our convo went something like this--

ShyVioletAC: grr. i dont know what their problem with me is now, but they are acting like little kids. i wrote a quote on my dry erase board on the door, and they kept erasing it. and last night she kept coming in here and opening the windows and then leaving, because she knows i don't like the windows open because it gets really cold in the room. and i'm sorry. *hug*. i don't mean to just bitch right out at you about all this...
Sonata568: no...that's cool...i'm really sorry sweetie!!
Sonata568: that's really stupid of them....grr
ShyVioletAC: thanks. yea, last night i got the feeling that they didn't really want me at the table eating. which is why i left early. in truth, the only reason i sat down over there was because i saw you there, and i knew you'd be the only one at the table to talk to me.
Sonata568: aw...i was wondering if that's why you left...i didn't get the friendlist vibes from them to you...they're being assholes...for nothing!!
Sonata568: they also started bitching about sharie...said she was a bitch...just cuz she asked them to quit banging on the doors once..they were just banging ang banging..so she asked them nicely to stop...and now they think she's a bitch
ShyVioletAC: yea. for a moment, when i was walking over there, i saw rachael talk to alexis and they were both looking at me, and i want to say they were talking about me. but since i don't really know, i can't really jump to assumptions.
ShyVioletAC: ugh!
ShyVioletAC: last night they were making a lot of noise too.
Sonata568: i don't understand why they have to do that
ShyVioletAC: security came down and told them to shut up and they kept going. i was wide awake, so it didn't really bother me, but still...other people are trying to sleep.
Sonata568: yeah....rarrr
ShyVioletAC: you know she hasn't slept in here in over a week? she comes into the room every morning, takes what she needs, makes her bed, and then at night she'll take her pillows and blankets and go sleep in rachael's room.
Sonata568: crazy
ShyVioletAC: she got mad at me last night for eating popcorn in the room...she asked if i could not eat it in the room because she didn't like the smell. i told her i'd wash the bowl when i was finished, but then i said, wait i can't. you used up all the soap i bought and you haven't boughten anymore. it was mean, but it was the truth.
Sonata568: but just think...once all the zeta stuff picks up...you won't even waste your time worrying about them!!
ShyVioletAC: yea. i don't really worry about it now...i guess i just have to let it all out sometimes, ya know? because i'm a really stubborn person when i have to be, and so i can ignore everything she's doing. one year isn't going to kill me. besides, she is only inconvienancing (sp?) herself by trying to annoy me. sometimes i wish she'd just schedual the roommate meeting with heather, and we can work out whatever bug she has up her ass, but she is so intent on trying to annoy me that she hasn't.
ShyVioletAC: and i won't either, because i know that i can sit here and not let any of it bother me because it's just petty.
Sonata568: hehe...that's good that you can annoy her in return by not letting it bother you
Sonata568: but a meeting with heather might be a good idea...
ShyVioletAC: i know. it's like killing with kindness. because she just gets upset that she can't annoy me. yea, but it's not living with each other, it's just for some reason she has decided not to like me. whether it's because i put a password on the computer, i stopped buying things for the room (because it's all onesided on my part), or it's the fact that i like popcorn and she doesnt..i don't know.
ShyVioletAC: i might talk to heather at the meeting on tuesday/
Sonata568: yeah....i think she could help a lot.....and alexis is being a bitch for no reason
ShyVioletAC: yea. she was in here last night, probably around one or so, and she was going through her trunk for something talking to rachael about how she wants to get a laptop (saying it mean, like its my fault she cant use my computer) and that then she'd have to buy a printer.
Sonata568: yeah....that's stupid...she is a mooch...she needs to grow up and get her own stuff....
Sonata568: that sucks that you have to provide for her
ShyVioletAC: yea. and it's only for the things we both use. and like when we first moved in, it was fine. i bought fabreeze and she bought air freshner, but when her stuff ran out she started using my fabreeze like its air freshner, and i hid it, cuz its nausiating..esp at like 7am.
Sonata568: yeah
ShyVioletAC: so monday i am gonna go to target (hopefully) and buy some more dish soap, but i'm not gonan give her any and im just gonna wash my stuff. which sounds petty and mean, but if she isnt going to help buy things for the room, then she isnt going to use what i buy.
Sonata568: no....not petty and/or mean
Sonata568: that's life
ShyVioletAC: yea, i guess your right. part of me is just waiting for her to come in here and take the phone/tv/fridge/microwave becasue thats what she brought. tv..well i can set up my computer for web tv..it just takes hella long. or i can have my mom send mine up. fridge..same thing, i have one..its alot bigger. micro--got one of those too.
ShyVioletAC: nearly everything in here is mine..except for what i mentioned.
Sonata568: yeah....
Sonata568: i'm sorry you have to deal with all of that
ShyVioletAC: the only reason i didnt bring any of those things, was because it was easier for her to bring hers than to have me fly them up here.
ShyVioletAC: yea. well, thanks for listening to me *huggle*. is it ok if i stop by later? i'm gonna go shower and i wanna straighten out my hair...:-D
Sonata568: i'm not sure when i'll be here...i have to go to my house, i'm leaving here in a few..but i should be back by like...5~ish
Sonata568: hey...you want my cell number? just in case you ever need anything?
ShyVioletAC: ahh, ok. well when you get back i'll borrow it.
ShyVioletAC: awww, your too sweet val!! sure..
ShyVioletAC: and i'll give you mine..
Sonata568: 5555555555
ShyVioletAC: 5555555555
Sonata568: ok..cool
Sonata568: ;-)
Sonata568: i'll let you know when i'm back...mmkay?
ShyVioletAC: k. thanks again.
Sonata568: no problem

she just made me feel alot better. thanks val *huggle*

oh! another big thanks to lennon for being interviewed for my english project. *huggles*

and if any one in gsp who reads this wants to take me to see harry potter...its much appreciated...heheh.

2002-11-16T14:53:00.000-06:00

quiz time!

i stole these from remon's blog.

My sphere is Guardian (Person of great Love and Altruism), and my class is Rogue (Precise and Unhindered).

I am a Protector.

You won't let anything or anyone threaten the ones you love if you have anything to say about it -- and you aren't afraid to back that up by any means possible. You might get your hands dirty in your life. You might do things that more lawful people would question. But there is no doubt in your mind that what you are doing is right, and you will have no regrets. To be a Protector is to shed many layers of "status quo," of "morality," and, to a degree, of honor, in order to dedicate yourself to the protection of your love in any way you can. You are a truly rare breed. You are loved in return for your great dedication by the people who value you. You know how to keep secrets, and uphold your word.

What kind of Warrior are you?

What's YOUR Writing Style?
brought to you by Quizilla

maybe i'll do more later. remon's nicky is Luna. I wanna call her Luna. shall I? maybe yes.

2002-11-16T13:09:00.000-06:00

!!!!

ok i read remon's journal...(she's the girl down the hall)....she has an ANIME pic..!! this is weird!! and she had a quiz so naturally...i had to take it and SCORE!! I AM SATURN!! that is soooo me!!!

What Planet Are You From?

this quiz was made by The Autist Formerly Known As Tim

2002-11-16T13:02:00.000-06:00

how weird

ok. i have pics that i found from neil gaiman's sandman on my door..they just look hella cool. and lucas, i still need to find away to send you the sandman thing i got for you, but i have no money and no time..be patient. ^_^ anyway i have a weird story..

three doors down from me lives a girl. yes, a girl..it's an all girl dorm you see. she likes gaiman. (ooh watch out lucas). how do i know this? she said so on my door. and we talked on my dry erase board for awhile, and then we moved up to email. turns out we have a lot in common. she likes to read, she is on the comp alot cuz she checks her email often, she has an LJ, likes harry potter. i just read her LJ and she likes gandalf! (even tho i am partial to pippen..) but still lord of the rings rocks. hmm..wonder if she's seen the labryinth?? or read stuff by LJ Smith? cuz that would be creepy. we havent met yet, which is strange, but eh..i like my computer. and i like getting emails (none of you send me anything but surveys..lucas..and that is appreciated too!)

onto other stuff. i didnt see harry potter last night. rachael backed out at the last moment, leaving kate and i in the dorm. then she went out with all of 'them'. and by 'them' i mean the sheep who follow eachother blindly. anyway, i am hoping i can go this weekend or monday after class...but i dont know any one with a car here who actually WANTS to see it, and thats a bit of a problem you see.

um..i dotn have much else to say..theres been a lack of blogging..i know..sorry. just no ideas or stuff ot rant about i guess. an di dont feel like fixing the typos...ive had so many lately...dun care. *kiss* love you. bai bai!

2002-11-13T21:54:00.000-06:00

p.s.

yes, i am aware that i am being a hypocrit in the below entry by calling her catty and childish when i am complaining and being spiteful behind her back. but at this point, i just really need to bitch. sorry..*kiss*

2002-11-13T21:49:00.000-06:00

*sigh*

i don't know how much more i can stand of living with alexis.

this morning i was SLEEPING (i dont have class until 1230), and she has a class at 8 so she was up at like 6...MAKING ALL SORTS OF FUCKING NOISE! honestly..who the hell has to CLEAN in the morning?? the decent thing to do would have been to wait until i woke up...which would have been after she got back from class...she keeps the windows open..now i think i am getting sick..she sleeps with this damn humidifier...that LEAKS ALL OVER MY FUCKING COMPUTER DESK!!!!!!!!!!!!!! the thing is..i cant tell that most of this is being done on purpose..she always looks at me right before or after she does something..i dont know, like she is waiting to see my reaction. and i am trying to be the mature one and shrug it off, but its getting really hard...and i want to go to the RA and sched a roommate meeting with her so we can talk about this, but i don't know..it's just not something i would do..it's just that i know i can just grin and bear this whole thing if i really wanted to. she is making her life just as miserable when she sleeps with the windows open. i've already told her not to set the humidifier on my computer desk unless she wants to buy me a new one..now she sets it at the foot of her bed (i left out that it leaks), and her bed got soaked...but rather than fix it, she leaves it there...so i know she is bothering herlsef more so than she is me. i am more tired of her being catty and childish than i am of her annoying habits that are suddenly there. i've already set a password lock on my screensaver. but if i leave the computer, she'll jump on it to print out all her stuff. so now i set the screensaver before i leave. she's also got her friends in here asking me if they can use my printer. i tell them no because i dont have ink (which is a lie, but i hate to just say no)...and then she says, "you just bought an ink cartridge" so i have to explain, "yea, i bought it...unless they want to pay me, they can print elsewhere." and then i sound really really mean..and i hate that.. because normally i wouldnt mind letting them, except that they have printers and they just dont want to buy ink..plus they dont even like me and i know it. this has been going on for weeks, and for whatever reason i have the urge to spill it now...

ARG!!!!

i just told her that david would be calling me in about 15-20 min...she just walked down thte hall...with both her cell phone and the room phone..why did she take it you ask?? becuase her FUCK buddy (because thats all they ever talk for, to schedule their next fuck session) might call her cell..in which case she will tell him to call the room phone...because she hates that i am in a happy loving RELATIONSHIP and she is always complaining that all keith ever calls her for is sex...hmmm i wonder why. she complains about it..until she gets horny (which is like every other second)...i always look forward to thursdays...she always goes over to his house for her weekly fuck session...and i can have a pleasant night..i dont answer the door for her friends..i pretend i am alseep. because my friends (who live next door on the otherside and down the hall) IM me before they want to come over..

ARG!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

*sigh*

2002-11-11T15:00:00.000-06:00

survey

stolen from lucas, who stole it from erin.

BODY:
1. What do you most like about your body?: my eyes
2. And least?: my cheeks
3. How many fillings do you have?: one
4. Do you think you're good looking?: not really
5. Do other people often tell you that you're good looking?: Yeah..they're kinda weird, but it's nice to hear.
6. Do you look like any celebrities?: i don't think so. i wish i looked liked Alba tho.

FASHION:
1. Do you wear a watch?: i did, but it broke
2. How many coats and jackets do you own?: a couple
3. Favorite pants/skirt color?: pants-jeans or just plain black. skirts-i dont do skirts.
4. Most expensive item of clothing?: *shrugs*
5. What kind of shoes do you wear?: tennis shoes, flip flops, slippers
6. Describe your style in one word: alice's style

YOUR FRIENDS:
1. Do your friends 'know' you?: only a few
2. What do they tend to be like?: people who get along with me for longer than 5min.
3. Are there traits in you that are universally liked?: ask the universe
4. How many people do you tell everything to?: two...they know who they are.

MUSIC, TV, FILM & BOOKS:
1. Favorite band ever?: *shrugs* Nat King Cole..but he wasn't a band.
3. Do you find any musicians good-looking?: yea, but names fail me.
4. Can you play an instrument?: flute, picc, and some sax..i really want to learn guitar.
5. Type of music most listened to?: alternative, punk, trance
6. Type never listened to?: i've listend to it all, but i dislike rap
7. Favorite book?: phantom of the opera, the essential basho, and all of LJ Smith

RELIGION:
1. Do you detest religion?: pretty much
2. How do you think this universe was formed?: by a giant buddhist panda..jk, i dont really know.
3. If you currently follow a religion, do you think people who belong to another religion are ignorant?: alot of people are ignorant, not just religious fanatics.

HOMOSEXUALITY:
1. What is the first thing you think when you see two gay guys or lesbians holding hands?: gays-cute. lesbians-why is that bitch with my woman!!! (Dusty, if I ever catch you in some other girls embrace....hehe)
2. Do you detest homosexuality?: not at all

GENERAL QUESTIONS:
1. Who is the smartest man alive at the moment?: not sure.
2. What do you prefer, a sunny or rainy day?: sun
3. Do you consider yourself lucky?: at the moment, not really. for the most part of my life, yes.
4. Do you feel pity for people who commit suicide?: no.
5. Choose one word to describe how you feel most often: eccentric, unique. kickass. yes, i can choose all of them

ETC:
1. Do you own any plaid clothing:Yea.
2. Do you own converse shoes?: no but i want some..either black or purple.
3. Do you own saucony shoes?: yes..i've had them for awhile
4. Do you own old school nikes?: uhh no.
5. Do you wear tight pants? yes, because i am girl..and my jeans are getting smaller as society continues to thrive on sex
6. Is there more than one zipper in your pants?: on one pair, yes
7. Do you know what a squatter flap is?: no,,and i dont think i really wanna know
8. Do you own a messenger bag?: yes!!! i love it!! i've had it since the 7th grade..army green with three red stars. i take it every wear.
9. Do you wear your messenger bag across your chest?: not really
10. Do you own braces?: i did, but not since like 9th grade
11. Are braces worn anywhere besides the mouth?: they can be, but i've never had any
12. Do you have short, shaggy hair?: no..its gotten long
13. Does your hairstyle exceed a height of 3 inches?: not unless i make myself an 80s ponytail
14. Would you classify your hair as a deadly weapon?: no
15. Do you think mohawks are "neat"?: *shrugs*
16. Is your hair black or red?: red
17. Do you have a favorite brand of hair dye?: loreal
18. Do you own a bandana?: yea, a few. never wear them though
19. Do you wear plugs in your ears?: no
20. Are you amused by safety pins?: yea, they are fun when worn on clothes
21. Have you ever used duct tape as a sewing substitute?: no, but i know lots of people who do
22. Do you own one or more objects with studs or spikes in them?: yea..jewerly
23. Do you own one or more articles of clothing from dogpile, lip service, or tiger of london?: huh??
24. Do you enjoy leopard print?: not really..i'm partial to tiger
25. Are you disgruntled?: hehe, that reminds me of a billy goat...
26. Are you an anarchist?: i'm not sure..ask lennon or lucas.
27. Does the American flag anger you?: no
28. Are you "working class"?: try "college student"
29. Do you dislike "preps"?: for the most part, yes. but i'm sure there is one out there that is nice.
30. Do you dislike Hot Topic?: no..i like the pixie glitter and the journals.
31. Do you smoke cigarettes?: no
32. Do you smoke cloves?: no
33. Are you a thin waif?: huh??
34. Are you vegan/vegetarian?: nope!
35. Do you think meat is murder?: eh? i think the steak is worth it. mmmm.
36. Have you ever slept in an alley or park?: in a park
37. Do you wash your hair less than once a week?: three to four times a week
38. Have you ever gone a week without a shower?: yeah..i was camping..so gross.
39. Have you ever been avoided due to your odor?: not that i know of.
40. Do you know who Jack Kerouac is?: no
41. Do you like Mr. Kerouac?: who?
42. Should Mumia Abu-Jamal be freed from prison?: who?
43. Are you a member of the makeout club?: hehehe..dunno, you tell me.
44. Do you say "rad"?: no..

MORE JUNK:
1. Name: Alice
2. Do you like it?: i guess..it beats BARBARA JEMINA (the org. name i was suppose to get before my abuelo named me)
3. Nick-names: Ali, Jaye, and another that only a certain some one knows.
4. Screen names: ShyVioletAC & SleepyPanda19
5. Age: 18
6. Birthday: Jan. 9, 1984
7. Sign: Capricorn
8. Location: KS
9. Eh?: eh?
10. Status: sitting at my computer
11. Crush: david
12. Virgin?: *giggles*
13. Natural hair color: brown
14. Current hair color: red
15. Eye color: dark brown/black
16. Height: 5'3''
17. Birthplace: i think every one knows this....IT SURE AS HELL WAS NOT MEXICO!
18. Shoe size: 6 1/2

FAMILY:
1. Parents: Mom, Dad
2. Siblings: Manny (14) and a half brother i will never see again, Anthony (2)
3. Live with: right now, i live in a dorm...back home i live with mom, manny, abuela, sgt, and summer
4. Favorite relative: manny

FAVORITES:
1. Number: 9
2. Color: purple, black
3. Day: Saturday.
4. Month: Jan
5. Song: anything by Nat King Cole, SBL
6. Movie: Labyrinth, Mulan, Moulin Rouge, Billy Madison, etc...
7. Food: HOME COOKING!!!
8. Band: Supreme Beings of Leisure
9. Sport: ....
10. Class: none...wait til i get into intro to fic. writing
11. Teacher: ....Mr Prescott..US History...fun fun.
12. Drink: spetzi
13. Veggie: wha??
14. TV show: DARK ANGEL! (i have the season recorded, IT WILL NEVER DIE!)
15. Radio station: i dont have one here.
16. Store: umm, i am broke. no store for me.
17. Expression: blank
18. Animal: Panda..either red or great
19. Flower: the ones david gives me.
20. State: TEXAS!

THIS OR THAT...
1. Me or you: depends on who you are
2. Coke or pepsi: PEPSI
3. Day or night: Night.
4. AOL or AIM: AIM.
5. CD or cassette: cd and my computer
6. DVD or VHS: DVD.
7. Jeans or khakis: jeans
8. Car or truck: MOTORCYCLE!
9. Tall or short: medium
10. Lunch or dinner: dinn-dinn
11. *Nsync or BSB?: *shudders*
12. Gap or Old Navy: old navy
13. Lipstick or lipgloss: you need both...lipstick for color, lipgloss for shiny lips!!
14. Silver or gold: Silver.
15. Alcohol or weed: neither.

LOVE & RELATIONSHIPS:
1. Do you have a bf/gf?: yes.
2. Do you have a crush?: yes.
3. How long have you liked him/her?: long time
4. Why do you like this person?: for all the reasons there is and many more.
5. If you're single, why are you single?: ...
6. How long was your longest relationship?: 7mos and counting
7. How long was your shortest relationship?: like 2 or 3 weeks
8. Who was your 1st love?: a kid named michael in like elementary school.
9. What do you miss about them?: playing tag?

THE PAST:
1. What is the one thing you would change about your past?: nothing. it's been done, and it's made me who i am today
2. What is the biggest mistake you've made in your life?: learning to lie...and lying well
3. Last thing you heard: um the disney show on tv right now
4. Last thing you saw: the disney logo
5. Last thing you said: something in english
6. What is the last TV show you saw?: what ever is on tv right now
7. What is the last song you heard?: she hates me by puddle of mudd

WHO IS THE LAST PERSON YOU...
1. Saw?: mami
2. Kissed?: david
3. Who is the last person you hugged?: david
4. Fought with?: david (AND IF YOU EVER DO THAT TO ME AGAIN YOU LITTLE JERK I'LL KICK YOUR ASS!)
5. Were on the phone with?: david

THE PRESENT:
1. What are you wearing?: jeans, baggy blue sweater, socks.
2. What are you doing?: filling out this survey
3. Who are you talking to?: myself?
4. What song are you listening to?: none
5. Where are you?: in the dorm
6. Who are you with?: um roommate
7. Are you online?: yea?? its kinda obvious..
8. How are you feeling?: like this survey should end soon.
9. Are you in a chatroom?: aww...i miss that. but no. havent been in one for a while.

FUTURE:
1. What day is it tomorrow?: get up early and go to a million classes day.
2. What are you going to do after this?: either sleep or go eat. im in college and its midday, those are my options
3. Who are you going to talk to?: no one
4. Where are you going to go?: either the cafeteria or to sleep
5. How old will you be when you graduate?: college? dont know..hopefully i'll be about 21 or 22
6. What do you wanna be?: writer
7. What is one of your dreams?: become published, be happy.
8. Where will you be in 25 years?: traveling, writing,

HAVE YOU EVER...
1. Drank?: yea
2. Smoked?:yea
3. Had sex?: *giggles*
4. Stolen?: no
5. Done anything illegal?: yea
6. Wanted to die?: Yes.
7. Hit someone?: Yes.

OTHER:
1. Do you write in cursive or print?: i type
2. Are you a lefty or a righty?: righty
3. What is your sexual preference?: eh..depends. right now, i'm with david..but before that i was all about kissing girls..hell, i still am..lol
4. What piercings do you have?: two in each ear.
5. Do you drive?: not here
6. Do you have glasses or braces?: glasses.
7. Did you like this survey?: not so much anymore

2002-11-10T01:33:00.000-06:00

salem

salem's words:

Merely Complex 11/10/2002
Untitled

there are those who
talk,
but never
listen.
speaking only to
enjoy
the company of their
voice.

-Alice Colon-

Alice Colon. If she were a color she would be Rainbow. She is able to captivate the world with her words and please the strapping with her looks. Its as if the Gods placed the power from the heavens in her pen, and she writes the thoughts from her head. She is one of the most beautiful people I know; beautiful in every aspect.

**the above blog entry is by cautiously_unknown**

2002-11-09T17:23:00.000-06:00

nothing

this is a nothing post.

what? what do you mean you don't know what a nothing post is..you poor child. let me explai--

well if you kindly shut up, i will.

are you done?

thank you.

shut up!

ok, a nothing post is simply a post in which i have nothing to post about and so i type what comes to mind.

yes, in this case it would be an invisible conversation.

fin.

2002-11-07T23:24:00.000-06:00

wtf?!

question: should i be mad that she is using MY computer to do her homework and then using MY printer (with out PAYING for ink) to print it out when she is so fucking pissed about the death of her brother (oops, i mean FISH)???

answer: hell yes!

on a much much happier note, my dinner with zeta was too fun. i met alot of girls, though their names fail me at the moment (a product of meeting too many people in too short a time)...but dinner was excellent, even the gigantic onion rings were good. the names i do remember are brooke, emily, ann, and amy. i know there were more...but i was talking to them mostly. brooke is really nice, kooky. emily is half puerto rican. ann--ann is well, weird. but funny. and amy i think is an officer or something. but anyway, we talked about psycho roommates (so they know my fish story), and i was offered a futon in brooke's room if alexis the brat gets to be too much. it was alot of fun. it was just super nice to be accepted by a bunch of great girls just for being myself. i loved it. and apparently they loved me too, because i get to go to the zeta meeting on monday to get my "official" interview. yea! they said that i am basically in, so not to worry. i'm really happy. every thing is just going so well. when i got back home, kate im'ed to go to her room (her and amy are afraid of alexis now...apparently alexis hates them because they are nice to me) and so i went down there, and they gave me a home-made "welcome to zeta!" card. it was really nice. then i watched friends and will & grace with them. when i got back to my room, alexis got up pretty fast from the computer...she was trying to crack the password i put on the screen saver...but i went to the bathroom, and she stole it. if i was a really mean bitch i would have told her to get the fuck off, but i didnt...*sigh*

but life is good. alexis is making her life even more miserable by trying to piss me off (and it is only making me happier), i am staying up all night taking quizzes to click away at the mouse resting near her head when she sleeps. i have 2 classes tomorrow, and i'll be done by 1:30 (one is a 3hr lab), alexis is going home this weekend, and i'm basically in zeta already, plus i had a blast at dinner. oh yea, david just called me too. life is so good.

2002-11-07T12:06:00.000-06:00

and life only gets sweeter

even with both the tv, radio, and humidifier making a racket of rap and humidity (?) around me, i can't help but smile. it's funny because she thinks she is bothering me, and all she is doing is letting me see how petty and childish, and utterly spoiled she is. i guess she used to get her way alot, and she isn't adjusting to college dorm life. she can move out, live with rachael who will be as loyal as a lap dog, struggle to make rent, pay utilities, and go through classes, and make me happy OR she can sit in the room with everything making noise trying to annoy me, and ultimately annoying her own self, and make me happy ( because i find it funny), OR she can take to this as an adult, sched. a meeting with the RA to talk about the differences and see if a solution or compromise can be made and we can both be happy. no matter which way she chooses, i am happy.

the miracle of being level-headed and dangerously stubborn...people crack before you do. every now and again she raises the volume on either the tv or radio and throws a glance in my way, seeing if my facial expression to her so-called prepubescent torture annoys me yet. she's also taken the liberty of placing everything of mine that was even a foot near her desk, bed, vanity onto everything that has been determined "my" side of the room.

she is merely a spiteful, spoiled brat of a 9yr old stuck in the body of a college girl.

2002-11-07T00:38:00.000-06:00

fire down the hole

i killed the fish.

not intentionally. what started out as a good samariten type of deal, ended up giving me one pissed off roomate and one pissed off next door neighbor. alexis hadn't changed the fish's water in over a month. so when she went to topeka with rach, i decided to clean the fish tank. so i did. and i guess i didn't let the water get warm enough, because i it died. most likely from shock. so i figure, ok, she will be mad, but i will buy her a new one, big deal. wrong. i told valerie, kate, and kim about it, and they told me to flush it so she wouldn't have to see it. so i did. and when alexis came home, i told her the truth. well she hit the roof with rage, and stopped talking to me and dragged rach into the hall to tell her what a horrible bitch i am, etc. then her phone rang and she told who ever it was she was talking to that i have "a death wish". go figure. its a fish. i guess she doesnt want a new one. well meanwhile, i am in kate's room watching barbra walters interview the osbournes. when that's over, i go back to my room. alexis isn't in here. but nicole and kenisha come to my room looking for her, and i just say she is mad at me and i dont know where she is. (valerie and kate are talking to me online, argreeing with me that she is being a tad over dramatic). well then alexis comes in with rach and she starts packing...she is gonna go to keith's house tonight. she apparently cant stand to be in the same room with me any longer. oh yea, before that her mother called asking if alexis was ok. alexis called her mom from her cell and her mom tried to call back, but no one answered, so she called the dorm. i told her that alexis was upset because i tried to change the fish's water and it died so she was upset with me. then i guess she got ahold of her mother. anyway, while packing, rach blurts out, "so can you manage 225 a month?" and alexis is like oh definitely. they are talking about moving into an apartment together in front of me like it is suppose to bother me. and it's funny--if she moves out at the end of the semester, not only am i rid of her and her close-mindedness, rid of rach's inability to think for herself, but i also get my own room, while they struggle to maintain rent.

so thats the story. funny...at least it is to me.

2002-11-06T19:04:00.000-06:00

tolkien vs. jackson

and for the hell of it, my english media essay in which i compare l.o.t.r.-the fellowhip: movie vs. book.

Nearly everyone is familiar with the cinema adaptation of the first book of JRR Tolkien’s exciting trilogy, The Lord of the Rings. In The Fellowship of the Ring, which is the first installment of the trilogy, director Peter Jackson alters Tolkien’s original dialogue in order to present the movie to a wider spectrum of the viewing public. While some of these alterations may be necessary in order to produce the film, many of them dissuade Tolkien’s original meaning from the books. Throughout the movie, there are scenes from the book that are deleted, as well as scenes added that are not found within Tolkien’s book. Also, much of the dialogue presented in the movie is said by different characters or sometimes not at all than what is found in JRR Tolkien’s The Fellowship of the Ring.

One of the first instances of dialogue alteration within Peter Jackson’s adaptation of the FOTR, is when Gandalf the Gray returns to Bag End to ask Frodo Baggins the whereabouts of the One Ring. In the film, after the elderly wizard reaches the conclusion that Frodo’s ring is indeed the One Ring, Gandalf returns to Hobbiton but finds that Frodo is away. He enters Bag End and waits for Frodo. When Frodo arrives home, the wizard startles him by reaching out of the darkness and grabbing Frodo by the shoulder, urgently asking, "Is it secret? Is it safe?" Gandalf looks worried and alarmed when he says this to Frodo. However, in the book, Gandalf knocks at Frodo’s front door and finds the hobbit at home. He puts off the discussion of the One Ring until later, after a pleasant breakfast the next morning. This alteration was most likely made in order to provide the audience with more dramatic tension, since the books tend to grow into that tension rather slowly. The problem with this adaptation is that it reveals Gandalf as being a bedraggled and panicky old man, rather than the dignified wizard withholding a great composure that Tolkien shows the reader. In the film, Gandalf bumps his head on the small entryway in the hobbit hole of Bilbo Baggins. This is an untrue representation of how Gandalf would react inside Bag End. It is apparent throughout Tolkien’s The Hobbit that Gandalf had been to the Shire as well as Bag End before. “…Bilbo Baggins was standing at his door after his breakfast smoking an enormous wooden pipe that reached nearly down to his woolly toes (neatly brushed)—Gandalf came by!” (Tolkien, 3) And even this showing of Gandalf’s visits to the Shire was not his first. “He had not been down that way under The Hill for ages and ages, not since his friend the Old Took died…” (Tolkien, 3). Therefore, it is degrading to his character, whom the Fellowship hold in high regard to have him bump his head on a doorframe, for the sake of throwing in a comedic scene in the movie. Especially not when the characters of Merry and Pippen have been reduced from loyal friends to comedic relief.

Peregrine Took (Billy Boyd) and Meriadoc Brandybuck (Dominic Monaghan), are two of the four hobbits within the Fellowship. They are loyal to Frodo, and help him in his quest to reach Mordor, and yet, Peter Jackson reduces these hobbits to comedic relief. Pippen is the hobbit most people relate the comedic relief too. His enthusiasm to join the Fellowship, and then asking, “So, where are we going?” causes the audience to laugh at poke fun of his reduced intelligence and heightened naivete. He is also made out to be shown as clumsy. The scene deep within Moria near Balin’s tomb, Pippen stumbles backwards in fear, knocking over a skeleton and bucket into a dark, empty well. However, in the book, Pippen does not stumble, instead “Pippen felt curiously attracted by the well…he crept to the edge and peered over…moved by a sudden impulse, he groped for a loose stone, and let it drop.” (Tolkien, 305). So perhaps Pippen was not the hobbit thrown in for the sake of comedy, but merely a hobbit who was easily influenced by outside forces, in this case, the dangers of Moria, and the attraction to the well.

The next big change in the movie that is not found within the book is the meeting between the four hobbits and Gandalf the Gray. In the film, Gandalf tells Frodo to, “..make for the village of Bree…I will meet you Frodo, at the Inn of the Prancing Pony.” Supposedly, when they meet again in the village of Bree, Gandalf will have further instructions on what to do with the One Ring. In the original version of the FOTR, Gandalf does not suggest that Frodo go to Bree or even that he will meet him there at the inn. In fact, it is Frodo Baggins, the unlikely heir to the One Ring, that discovers from the Ring’s dark past, that he must leave the Shire. “But in the meanwhile it seems that I am in danger, a danger to al that live near me. I cannot keep the Ring and stay here. I ought to leave Bag End, leave the Shire, leave everything and go away.” (Tolkien, 61). This added dialogue is created by the scriptwriters for the movie adaptation and does not represent Tolkien’s true work. However, this added pre-arrangement gave Frodo and the other hobbits soon to join him, a clear direction in which to head off to, since the scenes and events that happened at Crickhollow and with Tom Bombadil were omitted from the silver screen.

As Frodo Baggins, Samwise Gamgee, Meriadoc Brandybuck, and Peregrine Took enter the Inn of the Prancing Pony in the town of Bree, Frodo assumes the name of Mr. Underhill to keep his identity safe while outside the safety of the Shire. However, while drinking at the bar, Pippin is retelling the story of Biblo’s birthday party, and accidentally lets the name of “Baggins” slip. When Frodo hears the name Baggins, he jumps onto a table and engages in a song and dance to divert the attentions of the bar patrons from the name of Baggins to his routine on the tables. However, during one leap in the middle of a song, Frodo slips and falls, causing the Ring to fly up and land on his finger. In Jackson’s version, Pippin reveals that Frodo’s last name is in fact Baggins, and any mention of Bilbo’s party is emitted. “Baggins? Sure I know a Baggins-Frodo Baggins, he’s over there. He’s my second cousin, twice removed from his mother’s side.” Hearing this, Frodo worries, and jumps up, running over to Pippin to stop him from saying anything more, but he trips on some one’s feet, causing him to fall, and the Ring to slip onto his finger. This change probably a quicker and easier way to film Frodo’s misfortune of having the Ring slip onto his finger—causing the Nazgul to change their direction towards Bree. However, once again, this interpretation is a creation of the scriptwriter’s, and not JRR Tolkien.

What is probably the most major insertion of both new scenes and dialogue comes with Liv Tyler’s character, Arwen of Evenstar. In the book, The Fellowship of the Ring, Arwen is the daughter of Elrond, who rules over Rivendell. Her role is a minor one, she appears at the feast in the hall of Rivendell, and in a few other times wandering around the elf home. In the movie adaptation of The Fellowship of the Ring, director Peter Jackson is often accused by Tolkien’s fans as introducing “Arwenism” to the movie. Arwen of Evenstar is given more lines as well as additional scenes. The Nazgul chase scene, in which the nine Black Riders are chasing Arwen as she rides with Frodo atop her horse, Asfaloth, was originally a scene with an elf lord named Glorfindel. He placed Frodo atop Asfaloth, and the horse alone crosses the ford with Frodo. Glorfindel was probably replaced with Arwen because after the Nazgul chase scene, he disappears from the book. It was most likely easier for filming to give Glorfindel’s scene to Arwen’s character. The beginning of this scene takes places with Strider and the hobbits encounter Lady Arwen in the forest when trying to reach Rivendell at a faster pace due to Frodo’s wound. Arwen and Strider converse in elvish over who will ride the horse with Frodo to the Ford of Bruinen. This scene of course, does not occur within the book, and therefore is a direct insertion of the screenwriter’s and not Tolkien. In the movie, once Arwen reaches the ford with Frodo, the Nazgul leader says to her, “Give up the halfling, she-elf!” To which Arwen responds, “If you want him, come and claim him!” With this threat, the Nazgul begin crossing the ford. As they begin to cross, Arwen begins to murmur an elvish incantation. "Nîn o Hitaeglir lasto beth daer rhimmo nin Bruinen dan in ulair,” which translates to, “waters from the Misty Mountains, hear my words of might, flow torrentially for me, Bruinen, against the wringraiths!” This causes the water of the ford to flood over the Nazgul. Since this is not in the books, it allows for the screenwriters to omit the need for Gandalf to later explain to Frodo how the flood was caused and allows the audience to actually see it. However, after allowing Arwen to unleash the floods by merely reciting words de-emphasizes the power Elrond holds over Rivendell with his own ring and reduces Elves to spell-casting stereotypes. It also undermines the courage Frodo displays in the books.

Even though adaptations to turn great books into classic movies is necessary, it is not necessary to take the writer’s work and rewrite it to fit the movie. Perhaps to give a character the lines of another, but to simply add in a new scene filled with new dialogue is deterring too far from what the writer, in this case Tolkien, originally intended to have. The changes from Tolkien’s The Fellowship of the Ring to the version directed by Peter Jackson, is not reflective to Tolkien’s work and causes characters to develop and act differently on the silver screen than on the printed page. JRR Tolkien’s -The Lord of the Rings: The Fellowship of the Ring, remains a classic literary work, and despite the changes, Peter Jackson’s film adaptation, will undoubtedly become a movie classic as well.

2002-11-06T14:34:00.000-06:00

blog lag

it seems that lately every one is suffering from blog lag. those who normaly blog daily, are now blogging weekly. those who blogged weekly--monthly. and some of us, are not blogging at all. i guess nothing interesting has happened to us...but then, that never stopped us before.

well today i was invited to go eat lunch with valerie and sharie (btw-valerie IM'ed me telling me that ZTA called her asking for my number, so she gave it to them and that i should get a call pretty soon.) while we were eating and talking about how addicted to IM and coke we are, kate joined us and we started talking about the damn tele-marketers that have been calling all morning. (i swear, i got 6 calls in one 30min period trying to sell me a stupid visa). and then alexis joined us, but she didn't have much to say because she doesn't talk to them much anyway, and i think she sat with us because she didn't want to sit alone. go figure.

man! last night, alexis (who is sick right now) got this humidifier from rachael, and had it on all fucking night. it made this really loud noise, kind of like a sputtering engine. it was insanely annoying. eventually i fell asleep, but still...oh! and she had it resting on my chair, and the damn thing leaked on my pillow and on the chair, so i put my pillow to dry and switched chairs.

then i went to english...boring! all we did was go over how to make a works cited page..honestly now.

Oh oh oh!! joke i stole from dusty:

A chicken and an egg are lying in bed. The chicken is leaning against the headboard smoking a cigarette with a satisfied smile on its face.The egg, looking a bit pissed off, grabs the sheet and rolls over and says, "Well, I guess we finally know the answer to THAT question!"

FUNNY!!

2002-11-03T20:00:00.000-06:00

quidditch quizzage!

Which HP Kid Are You?

2002-11-03T14:19:00.000-06:00

reduced

ok, well alexis and i are on speaking terms. mind you, we are not hanging out or anything. rachael won't even look at me, much less talk to me--well fuck her then. haha. needless to say, we never hung out that one night. she just left here a few minutes ago..she was looking at me funny and writing notes to alexis. she's been reduced to writing notes about me now, i guess. i've come to the conclusion that rachael doesn't really have a personality of her own. she feeds off of those around her. when she was talking to me, she seemed so into the witchy stuff like i am, but now apparently she isn't, but suddenly she is very into kappa parties and rap music. go figure.

alexis was a littel shocked yesterday when i was all dressed and cute to go downtown with ann. she asked where i was going, and i told her downtown. then ann showed up, and we left. we had fun too, we went into 3rd planet, which is this really awesome store--i bought this pretty silver ring with a garnet stone..it kicks so much ass. then ann and i looked at bongs and hooka's...haha. that was pretty cool too. we went into a bunch of thrift stores and into this store called creations (i think) and that store is so cool--it's basically a hot topic, so it was pretty cool. the rest of the time we walked around being yelled at by drunk guys who were on their way to either the granada (the only club near by) or to a frat party.

anyway, i got in about 9, and made a very yummy dinner: salad, baked potato, and porkchops. so good. then i talked to david online and we took all these sex quizzes...it was pretty fun. basically i got that i am a demon in the sack, but i only sleep with people i love. so thats good. i am not a whore, but i am phenomenal in bed. go me.

and now i have some english to finish up before tomorrow. dont worry, i am not doing it now..i'll do it later. hahaha.

2002-11-01T22:05:00.000-06:00

ann

today has been great so far. alexis started talking to me again, and her and rachael asked to hang out with them if they do something tonight. i'm a little skeptical, but hey, it's a start...

anyway, i went for dinner in the cafeteria and i saw ann, a girl from bio who sits next to me all the time. so i sat down with her and we ate dinner together. afterwards she came to my room because she needed to copy some notes that she missed. so we were talking and we are into alot of the same stuff. it was fun. then she invited me upstairs to hang out in her room (this was about 7pm), and i just now got back (it's now 10)...so much fun. and she invited me to go downtown with her, her bf and some of his friends tomorrow, and i'll probably go. fun fun.

so i am making friends now...valerie (and maybe her sorority) and ann...the only problem i have now is to find a miracle to finish paying off housing...because i can come up with a thousand dollars in two weeks...*sigh*...

2002-11-01T13:55:00.000-06:00

just plain funny

this whole situation with my roommate and the girl next door has just gotten ridiculously hilarious to me. is that wrong? the more i sit back and watch them and think about this situation, it just seems funny. really. for the past month the two friends i had just stopped including me out of the blue. no reason given. things i had suggested we went out and did, were finally being done--just without me. of course i was hurt. i couldn't think of what i had done to them to make them just stop talking to me and stop including me. i was feeling really lonely and left out. that sadness grew into anger. i tried asking them what was wrong, asking them to tell me what i had done, but i was ignored and revered to as if i wasn't even in the same vicinity. so rather than continue to sulk in sadness, i started retaliating subtly. first, i left my mess on the floor after my roommate had cleaned. then i would purposly play my music (rock, alternative, punk) louder and with out the headphones. (fyi-my roommate only listens to rap). i stopped being so conciderate. since day one i've been adjusting to college life, but no one was compromising with me. it was all one-sided. suddenly it's being taken for granted. then i stayed up all night, going without sleep just so i could annoy my roommate with the clicking of the keyboard and the mouse. i was told thanks for being considerate from her in a rather sarcastic and bitchful tone. i simply beamed on the inside. then of course, being the wise little one that i am, i realized that retaliating in silent, subtle ways was not the answer--no matter how much fun i was having. i tried talking to them again. still i was ignored. i talked to the girl next door's roommate...asked her if she knew what was up. she didn't. she isn't really home that much. she brought up the subject to them, asking them if they knew what was wrong with me. their reply? that i was acting strange lately and that i was welcome to hang out with them at all times. her roommate then suggested that they tell me this, because maybe i didn't want to just invite myself (which i don't..that's just a little rude). did they put forth an effort? of course not. i didn't think they would either. in fact, it seems as if they are trying more so to push me away. then i realized that the entire thing was just plain funny. like high school all over again. except in high school there was less drama. it seems that my friends in high school were so much more mature than all this. you would think that my roommate would at least listen and talk to me about the problems. afterall, we do have to live with eachother for the remainder of the year, and since i've stopped being so conveniant for her (since i was getting nothing in return), you think she'd talk to me and try to solve somethings out. well anyway, the girl on the otherside of me, who as it turns out thinks alot like me which is refreshing (i've made a new friend with her), suggested that i let her write me a recommendation towards her sorority, Zeta Tau Alpha. when we both arrived here, we were both anti-sorority. however, ZTA is new on campus and so they really haven't developed a stereotype. besides, she informed me, i'd get to make some friends that could very well last a lifetime and weren't so immature. so i told her to go ahead and write it. there are a few other girls down the hall from her, four or five, who would write their own recommendations for me as well. so, within the next few weeks i'll be giving ZTA a try. i'm really looking forward to it. it's less time i am spending with a roommate who has about as much maturity as a rock does intelligence. either way, the situation is still funny...example of stuff happening right now. my roommate was watching real tv. when i looked up at the tv, she changed the channel, only changing it back when i looked away. really now. i have half a mind to turn on my music. not loudly, just enough to be annoying. i won't though. i'm better than she is, and i'm alot more mature. i've just got to start making my own friends and bringing them into the room to be very loud when she studies...afterall, she showed me the same compassion and consideration. rip-roaringly hilarious? probably not. still, i find it rather amusing...

2002-10-31T21:00:00.000-06:00

some people never mature

a misunderstanding or misplacement has literally driven people over the edge.

the story: rachael owed alexis and kenisha money. she paid alexis, and gave me kenisha's money. i did not know it was for kenisha. after a few moments, i realized that money wasn't for me, i figured it was something else that she owed alexis and accidentaly gave it to me. what did i do? i put the money in alexis' desk. a few days later rach comes back to me to tell me that the three dollars were for kenisha. i told her that i knew it wasn't mine and that i thought it was something else she owed alexis and so i put them in her desk. alexis says she never saw the money. kenisha is getting ridiculously pissed off....

the actions: everyone piles into our room to argue about it, the radio is blasting, and all i am trying to do is talk to lennon...i tell them what i did with the money and kenisha goes off on stuff saying stupid things like if she doesn't get it she is going to shoot us all. all i can think is, "it's three lousy dollars..." whatever. i ignore them as they argue...kenisha leaves all mad, then rach leaves. a few minutes later, alexis turns the radio up even more, and then pulls nicole out into the hallway. i'm pretty sure they all think i am lying, but i am not, and i know that..and i'm rapidly losing patience with these people.

the theory: my theory is that alexis saw the money and since it was just three dollars she spent it on drinks and chips or laundry. and also that they are stupid, and wanting a reason to argue because these are the type of people who thrive on being overly dramatic. and since they all dislike me for one reason or the other, its easy for them to come together and blame me behind my back, rather than actually listen to the one sane voice in the group.

the end

2002-10-31T20:27:00.000-06:00

halloween

such a creative and original title, eh?

tonight was fun. from 6-8 me, valerie, sharie, amy, lindsey, jessica and kate passed out candy to little kids that came trick or treating through the dorms. our floor didn't win best decor...which we think we deserved, because we decorated...and didnt just buy store stuff...but we got the funniest...plus heather is gonna give us a pizza party anyway. passing out candy was fun..amy was dressed up as marilyn monroe..she looked so cute. valerie was betty rubble...and she lent me her french maid costume, complete with thigh high fishnets. i provided the red lipstick and stilleto heels.

yes..i took a few pictures. lol.

i talked to thuy about my roommate problems, and she was such a good listener...she mentioned it to Rach and Alexis that they should invite me more, and they said that I was more than welcome, but I havent seen any changes in their attitude towards me yet, so i suspect they just didnt want to sound mean. i really dont care. i had fun hanging out in valerie/sharie's room and in lindsey/jessica's room.

alexis just came in and turned on the radio and left...go figure...

anyway, tonight was fun and now i am going to go eat the left over candy. hehehe.

happy samhein.

2002-10-31T15:22:00.000-06:00

random quizzes

Which Fushigi Yuugi Seishi are you?
brought to you by Quizilla

Which Fruits Basket character are you?
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Which Kaikan Phrase band member are you?
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2002-10-30T16:10:00.000-06:00

kick, punch...it's all in the mind

hehe, i stole parrapadarappa lyrics for my title...

rachael, taumi, alexis, and i went to target just a few minutes ago. guess who was ignored the entire time? me. *sigh* it's really getting old...their act of being friendly with me when it is convienant for them. i'm really sick of it. not so much with taumi, because she noticed it and spent the latter of the time walking around with me.

so i bought chicken breast, pork chops, and some chips..plus 3 bags of candy to pass out tomorrow. i did have a big thing of kool-aid and some sugar, but when alexis put back the boxes of capri suns she bought because she saw that i had kool-aid mix and sugar, i put mine back too.

i don't mind sharing...if she buys things too. if she would have kept the capri-suns, i would have gotten the kool-aid. but it seems like lately when we go buy food, she puts back alot of things and uses the stuff that i buy. she didn't buy the milk, juice, or even noodles. taumi offered alexis some noodles, so alexis put them back. she gets away with alot. i spend like 30 dollars on food for the both of us, and she spends less than 10 on stuff for her.

i was glad to see that she bought her own porkchops...because i wasn't planning on sharing mine.

she just found out that i didnt buy kool-aid...and i think she just got upset. and i don't care. she did buy one box of capri-suns and she has made it very clear that they are hers. yet she was all ready going through MY bags of stuff looking for koolaid. haha. i think this is a small victory for me.

it just really makes me mad. like last night we ordered a pizza. we both paid for half--but she ordered a supreme pizza (i wasnt in the room...i was down in the bathroom)...knowing full well that i dont like all those toppings. she could have at least gotten half supreme, half pepperoni...

no she couldnt--that would have been, god forbid, decent.

i really want to pin her down and punch her repeatidly and knock some consideration for others into her..but i cant. even i am not that dumb, and it's really not answer to solve the problem anyway. i'll limit my ass-kicking to a punching bag when i take kickboxing next semester...

if there is any candy left over tomorrow night (and i bought the good candy too: snickers, reeses, and butterfinger. i want to be the type of person that makes kids say "they give out GOOD candy")..i am not going to share.

i may know that beating my roommate up isnt the answer to my problems..but i can retaliate subtly in my own fashion...

comments

2002-10-29T06:59:00.000-06:00

dreams? no thank you.

it is 6:44am.

i've stayed awake all night. i am about to go to class in half an hour. i've already taken my shower and gotten ready. and now i am watching saved by the bell on tv..hehe, it's the episode with screech and violet and the glee club. classic.

the night passed pretty fast...faster than i expected. maria was up too, so i talked to her off and on again. mostly i just created a layout for my site. i've decied to redo the entire site in code..because ever since i made this blog layout (even though i had to take out the pictures), i've been on a little html trip...so i made a layout for my site: violet visions. next i am going to make a layout for my poetry blog and afterwards the rest of the pages for my site--ie., lennon's poetry (which rocks), the picture page (i've got this GREAT idea for that), the about me page..etc.

awww! screech just gave violet a rose before her performance. hehe, that's so sweet.

anyway, i've got about 15min left..so i'm gonna go watch the rest of saved by the bell and then head to class...

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2002-10-29T03:51:00.000-06:00

insomnia

it is 3:37am and i am wide awake. i also have to wake up earlier for a class at 8am. not too mention a test in jazz history at 9:30am. yea. so rather than force myself to sleep for a couple of hours i am just going to stay up...mainly because i know if i go to sleep, even for a few hours, i won't get out of bed and i'll skip biology and jazz history. that wouldn't be good.

my plan to stay awake tomorrow during two classes in a row, bright and early?

"get up" at 6am...meaning out of my computer chair, and going to the shower. i'll take a warm shower, neither hot nor cold, grab some coffee from the cafeteria for a caffiene boost, and go to biology. then go to jazz history. when i get out of that class at 11, i'll see if thuy is home--if she is, i'll finish my math. if not--i'll take a two hour nap from 11-1/1:30pm. then i'll do the rest of my math with valerie. then i'll actually go to math at 2:30...come home around 4 and take another nap. and i will sleep. XD

now let's hope i can actually carry it out. i am pretty sure that i can...mainly because i have a test that i don't want to skip.

as for the minor change in layout...blogger apparently doesn't let me host my own pictures, because they won't show. they did for awhile, and somehow it stopped. stupid blogger. so unless lucas gives me a hosting spot on his site (hint hint), i can't have my pics. but either way, i am really proud of myself...it is my first layout, and i really like it alot. good job me.

there is this ridiculous show on tv with joey from full house...sort of like a talent show meets america's funniest home videos. it's incredibly cheesy. tangy--like chedder cheese cheesy. i'm not paying too much attention to it because i am blogging, but still, every now and again something catches my attention...

this is a really random-thoughts post, and i apologize for that. good news though..i have some new poems to put up @ poetic rainbows...who knows, maybe i'll create a new layout for that too! i probably will. i might as well start working on it now since i still have two hours to go...

oh yea..keith i got your blog to work. check it out here---> Hard Knock Life
**just let me know if you want me to change the background, colors, or something...if ya want..i can make you a layout too!!...btw, its under my account, so just im me, and i'll send you the loggin name and password. ^_~**

every one else that is sound asleep and not on my buddy list for me to talk to..hope you sleep well!!

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2002-10-28T20:10:00.000-06:00

yay!

this layout you see right here...I DID IT ALL BY MYSELF WITH HTML!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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2002-10-28T01:16:00.000-06:00

must it be beaten into me?

they keep coming in and out of the room, giggling, turning on the tv, turning it off again. as if to rub it in that they are having fun and i am not. i'm trying not to care. it's no problem for me to have the outward facade of "i just dont give a shit", but inside..inside it kills me. sure, i'm being a little over dramatic. and maybe it really doesn't bother me, i've gotten good at numbing myself to things that bother me over the years, but at the same time it just really irks my nerves that they have to keep forcing the image of their happiness to where i can do nothing but stare at it numbly.

i really want to talk to thuy about this. she knows what it's like to have them hate her. they hate her at the very mention of her old boyfriend. me, i am a little more sympathetic..i try to listen to thuy even though i don't always agree with her actions. she, however, is out of town.

i have at least, resolved to just do what i have to and not worry as much about them. meaning if they ask me to keep quiet when they study, i won't. or when she needs to computer, i won't be finished. or if she wants me to stop clicking the mouse at 2am, i won't. simply because they do not do the same in return. it's a give/take arrangement. you have to give a little and have a little bit taken as well. i am really tired of trying to be nice and conveinance them, when they do not do the same for me. it seems like everytime i need to study, read, or simply ask them to keep it down just a little...they get louder.

it stops now.

i'm tired of them beating their happiness into me, and nearly forcing me to help them achieve more. it's time for me to be happy too. even if i don't have friends, i can still be happy. i've always been happiest when on the computer...so i will stay on the computer. it's not the first time that the thought of placing a password has crossed my mind...i'm just not sure if i am ready to be that mean yet...

any suggestions?

comments

2002-10-27T22:08:00.000-06:00

waiting for another drop

it's still raining in my soul.
i'm still alone in this place.
i'm still sad with my life.
i'm still in love with him.
i'm still looking for the sun.
i'm still lost in the dark.
i'm still watching the gray.
i'm still waiting for another drop to fall.

2002-10-26T15:27:00.000-05:00

sad and alone

i've gone through such a rough week...

alexis, rachael, kenisha, nicole, and taumi have all gone to the mall in olathe. but weren't these the same people (minus taumi) who were all complaints when i asked them if they wanted to go a few weeks ago? sure, my main reason for going was to pick up my computer, but still, i wouldn't have minded stopping at the mall. besides, now that i do have my computer back, alexis doesn't seem to continue complaining that she has to go to the arc to print her homework. next time the ink finishes, she is going to either buy it or not print at my computer. i am not going to keep paying 20 bux for ink when i hardly print anything except for english papers and she prints out all her homework assignments. so when the ink is running low i'll give her a choice: either you help me pay for it because you print out way more than i do, or you save to a disk and go print elsewhere.

*sigh* i guess i am just really feeling left out. and it doesn't help that they make all these plans right in front of me and just choose not to invite me. or that i will suggest something and it's all no's...and then next week or a few days later some one suggests the same thing and it's all yes's..

it just makes me a little sad. i guess i am not used to having people blow me off. i dunno, i've always thought i was fun to hang around with, but apparently i am saddly mistaken.

comments

2002-10-23T00:26:00.000-05:00

the tech campaign

it's started. chad has created the "bring alice to tech in 2003" campaign. i really want to transfer out of ku. i've been here for a good 4mos and i still have yet to make many friends. in fact, i have none. go figure. anyway, even though it is a gorgeous campus and i love my classes and the school itself...i dislike the materialism of many people i am surrounded by as well as the "greek" theme that enshrouds the student body. i haven't met one person who is not in a sorority or a frat. i seem to be the only anti-greek person.

Alice @ Tech in 2003

check it out.

ps: keith, i will get you a post..promise..i just watn it to be really good and poetic. ^_^

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2002-10-22T21:46:00.000-05:00

quiz time

Which Disney Princess are you?

thats me..the kick as violet-eyed raven with the sarcastic tongue. but what a nice tongue it is....

comments